I finished the rough draft for my 5th novel, A Broken Kind of Beautiful. Although they say not to get too attached to a title, since they’re prone to change, I can’t help myself with this one. I’m very attached. It fits perfectly with the story.
I pounded out eight thousand words on Saturday (thanks to my hubby who hung out with the B-man!) and ended up typing The End two weeks sooner than planned. I sat there awhile, blinking at my computer screen, sort of in awe. Not with myself. I’m hardly ever in awe with myself. But with this thing. This beautiful, insane, exhilarating, fear-inducing, tear-out-my-hair-but-I-wouldn’t-trade-it-for-the-world thing called writing. The art of pouring words onto a page and letting those words tell a story.
It’s such a gift. For the reader who loses herself in the pages, yes. But mostly, for the writer.
Every morning I wake up and spend time with God. I read His word. I write in my prayer journal. I listen. I always pray about my writing. That my stories would captivate and encourage. Speak truth. Inspire faith. But even more than that, I pray God would draw me closer to Him through my writing.
A couple weeks ago, while my mom and I drove to the mall, we started talking about my new story. I said something that surprised her. I told her how hard it was for me. To sit at my computer desk and pound out the words. I told her how the whole daunting task fills me with angst. I have no idea what I’m going to write. My words are lousy and dull and lifeless. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat, elbows straddling my laptop, fingers digging into my hair, blinking at my computer screen because I. Can’t. Make. The. Story. Work.
This is my 5th novel. So far, God has showed up every time. Maybe not as quick as I want Him to or when I want Him to. But He shows up. He draws me near and uses my weakness to magnify His strength. And when He does, I can’t help but feel awe. In awe that He gave me something I enjoy so much it burns all the way down into my toes. I finished another rough draft. Now it’s time to revise. Oh dear.
If you’re interested, here’s the back cover blurb for A Broken Kind of Beautiful.
Question to Ponder: How do you feel when you finish a rough draft? Or if you’re not a writer, how do you feel when you finish a big task?

