Awhile ago, I blogged at the WordServe Water Cooler about an audio span recording I did with my publisher.
It was my very first experience doing an author interview.
The interviewer asked me five questions over the phone, all pertaining to my book. He did this with several other Waterbrook Multnomah authors. The interviews were put together on a CD that will go to the sales reps, who will use them to help sell the books to retailers.
Anyway, after the interview, I felt pretty confident in my answers. I thought things had gone well.
Until I got the CD and listened to myself speak.
My confidence? Yeah….it melted into mortification. My cheeks flamed with heat as I listened to myself insert “um” after “um” between my words.
It was horrible, you guys. I’m not kidding. Um became my own personal overused comma. Anytime there should have been a pause, I inserted an “um” instead. My answers were decent, but they were almost impossible to listen to in light of all the distracting um’s.
I sat there thinking, “When in the world did I say all those?”
Then I remembered my first ever vlog recording.
When I watched that vlog, I knew right away I couldn’t publish it. To my complete surprise, I said um. A lot. So I re-recorded it, making a determined effort to avoid that particular syllable. And I barely said um at all. Only by then, I’d already done the audio span thing and it never dawned on me that I might have said um a bunch during that too.
Until I got the CD.
So there I was, listening to the interview, 100% embarrassed. It only got worse when I listened to Liz Curtis Higgs. Her interview was amazing. She was well spoken and completely charming. And in the midst of blushing my brains out, my husband said something.
“Kate,” he said, “Liz Curtis Higgs is a pretty established author, right?”
I hid my face behind my hands and nodded.
“She’s probably done interviews and stuff like this before, don’t you think?”
“Yes.”
“I’m willing to bet she’s learned some things over the years.”
I peeked at him between my fingers.
“You should cut yourself some slack. This was your first interview. Next time you do one, you’ll know better.”
My hubby. So logical.
But he’s right, you know? I do know better. In fact, I’m completely aware of every um that comes out of my mouth now. And awareness is the first step to kicking a habit.
So why am I telling you all this?
Mainly as a cautionary tale.
When you listen to your first author interview, I don’t want you to feel like crawling in a hole because of how many times you said “like” or “you know” or “um”.
So here is my tip to you:
Record yourself.
Sure, I practiced. But I never actually listened to myself talk. I had no idea, while I was practicing, that I was inserting a whole bunch of um’s into my answers.
You won’t know your speaking ticks until you hear yourself. And there’s no way to fix those buggers until you’re aware of them.
Let’s Talk: Please tell me I’m not alone here. Have you ever had an experience like this? How do you prepare for speaking engagements or interviews? How do you keep yourself from saying “um”?
Katie,
I think we were both at the same conference this past weekend but didn't get to meet…I wanted to tell you, I did my first author interview (not recorded–thank God!) at the conference and while I was waiting for the interview, Liz Curtis Higgs walked up and introduced herself to the interviewer. I was struck by her poise and confidence and her ability to pull everyone in just as soon as she opened her mouth to speak.
Smart to practice and record yourself!! Good advice! 🙂
If it makes you feel better, Katie, this voice major can't stand to hear recordings of myself singing. My voice teacher in college used to FORCE me to listen, and I hated every minute of it.
I daresay your interview isn't as bad as you think–and you WILL get better with practice.
God bless, and try to put the unpleasantness of the memory aside and think of good things instead! Easier said than done, I know.
I bet the author was touched by your nervousness!
I had the opportunity to interview one of my favorite authors of all time this past spring…Preparation is so key. I wrote reminders to myself on my notes: "Breathe!" "Slow down." "Don't talk too much." ha..
Thanks for the great post. Remember, we are our own harshest, Simon Cowel-like critics! 😉
Oh, Katie, I can SO relate to your post! Mine was, "You know?", instead of "um." And I had no idea I was doing it. You are 100% right – knowing is half the battle. I think you're doing great!
I am terrified of speaking in front of people! I'm terrified of sounding stupid. And I do not like my recorded voice one little bit. There. I said it. It's something I've wanted to get over for years, but haven't quite figured out how to do that.
And I love how logical our hubbies are. Yours is 100% correct, though. You will nail it next time. And your vlogs are amazing.
Katie,
LOVED this post my sweet friend. Came at a grat time too…I have two speaking engagements coming up. One of which has me a little nervous. Oh, and I am talking with a producer tomorrow over the phone with Focus on the Family. She wants to hear a little more about what my book is about. I'm praying to share with complete um-lessness.
It's fun being a debut author with Wordserve sisters like you. xo
No worries, Katie. You can't possibly be as bad as the pastor we had when I was a kid. We used to sit and count the "ums" in his sermon. I think we got as high as 84 one time!
Katie, I love your honesty! "Um" gets me a lot too. I remember in speech class being told that it's better to have a silent pause. After a while I got used to it. But I've been out of practice lately. It wouldn't surprise me if those little "ums" came back to bite me again! 🙂
Um…like no, I never use those awkward pause fillers…ummm, at least I think I don't! 😉
Um…. I'm sure you are not alone in this. And I'm also sure that no amount of "ums" can squash your personality or your writing. You rock, chica. 🙂
Heck, I get spazzy when my friends and family ask about my writing. My hands start shaking, I talk way too fast, and I can't make eye contact. I don't blame you for being nervous!
I'm totally feeling for you here! I would likely have an identical experience, just substitute the um's for so's, my big repetitive word.
The idea to record yourself is a really good one. If we can hear ourselves, then we'll know what to guard against. Thanks for the great tip!
I have every faith that you'll knock it out of the park next time!
I'm pretty sure the interview didn't sound as bad to anyone else as it did to you, but I do sympathize. I tend to insert silences. Contrary to what Keli suggests, however, they aren't calculated to make me sound knowledgeable, but during an audio recording are like black holes! I'm frantically hunting for words and it feels like those seconds are hours long. ::sigh::
Great post. Thank you so much for your honesty:) I think we've all been there.
Same thing happened to me on a family video. I was telling a story and ummmm ummm came up so many times. I was red-faced after viewing it. I learned from that one.
Katie – laugh and hug to you!
Because I've done quite a bit of training in public speaking, I don't have the 'um' or 'like' problem anymore. But I *hate* to see myself on video, and if I'm not careful, I don't like the sound of my voice. The other day my daughter and I made a video for fun in which I talked about Fairer than Morning. Hated it. It had been so long since I used my voice professionally that I had forgotten to use a couple of techniques to improve my tone. Fortunately, I did that video before at least one of my radio interviews, so I remembered how to speak just in time!
Guilty!! Not only have I overused "um," but I've also frozen at the beginning of a presentation. Uggh!
I remember looking at the expectant faces and thinking "this is boring! What am I doing? What would I want to hear?" and I changed the opening of my presentation. After that, it went really smoothly, but that first minute felt awful. Lesson learned: always practice the opening!
Katie, great advice! So many people use this technique, especially for job interviewing. I even record my son's oral presentations so he can see himself and improve on his speech, plus its fun! Good luck the next time and dont worry so much about the 'um's"…it could have been worse!
I cant even watch my wedding video because I discovered I bop my head when I dance, and look like a bobble head. 😉
You, my friend, are awesome, and I feel certain the listeners will be far more interested in what you had to say than a few ums. In fact, most people don't even notice them because they use that crutch word themselves, either that or one of its cousins: ah, uh, like, and, etc.
My best advice for avoiding ums is to replace them with silence, a tip I learned from my time in Toastmasters. When we pause, even briefly, before we speak, we gain credibility with our listeners. Because they know we've taken time to formulate our answers, they trust that what we say next will be something of value.
It is good that you are putting yourself through this and learning.
I remember practicing and practicing for a promotion exam that had a video interview component. The first few times I rehearsed, I was like wow I am awful. I am still not the best on camera, but my performance was good enough to earn the promotion.
Oh, man, been there, done that, got a medal for 'um.'
You have a very wise and nice husband, and I'm sure the interview will be just fine, because your passion for your story and writing and God and life will shine through any 'ums' or "ya knows?" 🙂
Katie, you're too funny! I'm sure you did great!…even if there are a few um's in your interview. That retail buyer is going to be more taken with your sweet voice and passion than any um's he might hear! 🙂
I'm learning so much from you!
I always think my voice sounds funny.
~ Wendy
Well,you know, like, this is so on target, you know. I haven't done any book related interviews, but I've certainly had this issue while answering questions in other settings. The thing is, I even know I'm doing it at the time, and if I concentrate on not doing it, I'm left with breaks in speech that make it seem like I decided to retreat into a coma between thoughts. Which I also hate, because, you know, it's like, awkward.
Katie, I love your blog. lol.
Okay, so I have multiple awards in speaking competitions and over 20 years in public communication experience and I have to tell you, um is not as bad as "I mean, blah blah blah". A listener can tune out um, uh, like. But when a speaker starts with "I mean, this is common", it's like – when did you say anything to start with to clarify with I mean?
Lol. Um and Uh and Like are not a big deal and as you get more and more attuned (like HUbby said) with speaking on the fly (the whole I'm worried I'm saying the right things syndrome), You'll lose those more and more.
I used to practice in front of a mirror. There is a face we make when we say um and uh and like that I like to call the ugh face.
Try it, it's hilarious.
Have a great day and congratulations. It sounds like you're off and running! Woot!
Can't wait.
Hugs and um, see you soon!
Your hubby sounds sweet. And right. And you know, it could be worse. You could have accidentally burped in the interview or something. What? It could happen…
I hate to listen to myself because I think that I sound as if I am 12 years old.
After 23 years of teaching, I thought I'd expunged the "like" and "you know" demons. But, alas, not so much.
I find a script helps, but I know that's not always possible. Practice, Practice, Practice. Yep. I think that's the only cure.
I'm the world's worst about inserting "like" into my conversations. In fact, my DH asks me all the time, "You sound like Bailey when you talk." She's a 13 year old girl. Great.
When I publicly speak, I practice aloud, but I've noticed when I veer off my notes, "Like, who knows what could happen and like you could be right in the center of God's will, like right now…" You get my point.
Thanks for sharing. I love how real you are, ums and all! 🙂
Katie I think that's very normal! I've been a teacher and have spoken with the kids at church but a live author interview might be different. I'll remember you and your ums. 🙂