Everybody wants it, right? I mean, really, have you ever met a person who’s said, “No thank you. I don’t want peace. Give me frustration and worry and agitation, please.”
I think, in order to get it, we have to start with reality.
Here’s my reality.
Here’s me.
I’ve been agented for over a year now, and I can easily remember what it felt like before. What it felt like to put so much energy and hope into getting an agent. What it felt like to read about other writers getting agents. Experiencing the joy with them, but also a pang of sadness that it wasn’t me. I remember what it felt like to dream about getting that call–receiving that validation–that yes, I’m good enough for representation. That’s what I wanted to happen and man, once that happened, I’d be happy. I’d be at peace.
Well. I did get that call. I got that validation. It was a super exciting night. But then I woke up in the morning, and you know what? Life was still life. I was the same me. I still had doubts and insecurities and all that energy I spent dreaming about an agent, worrying that I’d never get the call….it didn’t go away. It just morphed into something different. It wasn’t, “What if I never get an agent” anymore, it was now, “What if a publishing house never offers me a contract? What if my agent realizes she made a mistake, that I can’t really write, and she drops me?” I started thinking that if I could just get a contract, then I’d be at peace. I’d feel secure and my dreams would finally come true.
Okay. So imagine this.
You get a publishing contract. You celebrate and rejoice. You jump up and down. You freak out with your writing friends and cry and laugh and do a couple back flips.
But then what?
Are you done dreaming? Are you going to stop wishing? Will you stop wanting more? All that energy you spent on finding a publishing house – do you think it’s just going to go away?
I have a strong inkling it doesn’t. I have a strong feeling it morphs into something else. A whole new set of worries. Like, what if I can’t write anymore stories? What if something goes wrong and my contract never comes in the mail? What if I don’t earn out my advance? What if I get horrible reviews? What if nobody buys my book and I can’t get anymore deals? I have a strong feeling that a person with a publishing contract still struggles with jealousy.
Do you see the pattern?
There’s always going to be another hill to climb. Another prize to chase after. Another dream to dream. The worry and unrest and insecurity aren’t going to magically disappear once we reach a certain wrung on the ladder of publication.
This is reality. At least it’s mine.
No matter where you are, there’s always going to be a bigger dream that stirs up just as much worry and anticipation as the previous one. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that once I just get to this point….
So how do we find peace?
Here are four things I think might help:
- Repeat after me: Circumstances don’t bring peace. At least not the lasting kind. If we’re depending on circumstances, then we’re standing on very wobbly ground. Things change. Life is filled with seasons. If we want peace, we need to look up, not out.
- Examine the source of your identity and worth. If my worth is wrapped up in the industry, then I’m never going to find the peace I’m looking for. No matter how high on that ladder I climb, peace will always be one wrung ahead. And when I finally do get to the next one, I’ll be left standing there, scratching my head, wondering, “What in the heck happened? I thought I’d be happy by now.”
- Accept that our journeys were never meant to be compared. The journey I’m on isn’t supposed to be the one you’re on. My journey looks different because God created me different. He has different lessons for me to learn. And just because my journey moves slower than Author A’s or faster than Author B’s, doesn’t mean I’m any less favored or loved by God.
- Realize that God doesn’t care about the publishing contract. He doesn’t even really care about the books. At least not as much as He cares about YOU. He hasn’t called me, or you, on this journey for the sake of book sales and good reviews. He hasn’t called us on this journey to give us everything we want exactly when we want it. He’s called us on this journey to grow our character. To teach us what it means to stay on our knees. To experience the wonder of creating. To surrender. To wait, because wow, do we ever wait. And to trust. To trust that maybe our definition of success, and the world’s definition of success, has nothing to do with His.
I hope you found some of these tips helpful. Wherever you are on the ladder this new year, may peace overflow in your life.
Let’s Talk: Do you ever think a change of circumstances will bring you peace or happiness? Do you ever think that once you reach a certain point, the insecurities and uncertainties will go away? What do you think is God’s definition of success?
