Tag: Congo adoption

The Secret of Being Content

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

The other day, I came across these words from Paul:

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  -Philippians 4:11-12

Wow.

Talk about challenging.

Because seriously, content whatever the circumstances?

You mean as writers, we’re to practice contentment whether we have an agent or not? Whether we have a book deal or not? Whether we’re having a good experience with our publisher or not? Whether we have good sales or poor sales? Whether we’re writing in obscurity or writing in the spotlight?

You mean as adoptive parents, we’re to practice contentment whether we are happy with our agency or not? Whether we get a referral when we’re supposed to or not? Whether we bring our child home as scheduled or not? Whether our little ones adjust well to their new lives or struggle to bond?

Really?

God’s word says yes.

He wants us to learn contentment in every circumstance.

Because He knows something that tends to go right over our heads. At least mine.

Circumstances don’t bring contentment.

They might bring temporary excitement or happiness, but those feelings quickly fade. If we hinge our contentment on the hope of better things to come, we’ll never be content. 

We’ll forever live under the assumption that if we could just get an agent, or just get a book deal, or just earn out our advance, or just win an award….

We’ll forever live under the assumption that if we could just get that referral, or just get our travel plans, or just hold our child, or just help them adjust… 

Here’s the thing.

There will always be one more “just”.

Which is why these verses are worth remembering.

For writers. For adoptive parents. For pretty much anyone who lives and breathes and strives.

The source of our contentment is not our circumstances.

Does this mean we’re supposed to put on a happy face and smile when times are crummy? Does this mean that we’re not allowed to vent or cry or struggle?

Of course not. Even Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died.

It just means that at the end of the day, God wants us to rely on His strength. To rest in His grace. To trust in His goodness. To put our hope in His promises.

Through every situation. Through every season of life. Whether good or bad. 

Let’s Talk: What area of your life do you struggle with the most in regards to contentment?

The Best Response

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

When a friend announces she’s pregnant, our responses tend to be predictable.

Excited squeals. Enthusiastic hugs. Congrats all around. And eager voices that ask, “When are you due?” and “How are you feeling?” 

When Ryan and I found out we were pregnant with Brogan, we couldn’t wait to tell people. We couldn’t wait to share our news. We couldn’t wait to share our joy.

And the same was true when we made the decision to adopt.

Our joy was the same. Our anticipation was the same.

Yet the responses ran the gamut.

From absolutely thrilled to absolutely wary.

The wide variety had me wondering why.

Why are the reactions so varied?

I think a lot of it comes from not knowing. So many people just don’t know how to react, because adoption isn’t as common as pregnancy. And there’s this somewhat popular thought that people adopt because they can’t get pregnant. And being infertile isn’t a happy, celebratory thing. So we’re just not sure how to respond when someone we love tells us they’re adopting. 

As I travel this journey, here’s what I’ve learned.

When it comes to our response, the why’s don’t really matter. Because by the time a family announces their adoption, they’re excited about it. Sure, there are other emotions too. Just like there are other emotions when a woman is pregnant. But the dominant emotions are usually positive. 

So the best response, the one I think adoptive parents most appreciate, is when people react like they would to a pregnancy. With joy and excitement!

Because the family is going to have a child. A precious, beloved child. And that child deserves to be celebrated.

Of course there will be questions. And there will probably be concerns. But get excited first. Ask questions second. 

Be like my aunt Peggy, who completely lit up, gave me a big hug, and asked when she could start telling people. 

These responses are such a blessing. Thankfully, there have been plenty! 

Let’s Talk: Why do you think the responses are so varied when it comes to adoption?

Questions People Ask

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

Ever since announcing our adoption to friends, family, and acquaintances, we’ve fielded lots and lots of questions. Questions I think most adoptive parents face at one point or another. I thought it might be fun to answer them here. 

Why the Congo?

Because the situation is desperate. Heart-breakingly desperate. And as my friend Kristin Reickard likes to say, we can’t unlearn the things we’ve seen and read while we researched our options.

Almost always, this question is asked out of curiosity. But every so often, the tone teeters toward hurtful.  There are people who don’t understand why we would adopt internationally when there are children in the United States without families.

Here’s the thing. When God commands His children to take care of orphans in their distress, I’m pretty sure the command came without borders. We have a heart for Africa. So to Africa we will go. I’m not going to pit domestic adoption against international. Both are needed. Both are good.

How long will the process take?

12-15 months. But with this estimate comes so much unknown. We’re trying to surrender our expectations on this one.

Is it safe to travel there?

There are safer places. It’s an unsettled country. With that said, am I worried for our lives? No. I’m really not.

Will we be adopting a baby?

By the time we bring our child home, he/she will most likely be one and a half to three years of age. The majority of orphans are older children.

Are we going to adopt a boy or a girl?

Although we could specify gender if we wanted, we’re going to opt for a surprise.  

How much will we know about our child’s history?

Not much. This is just the reality for orphans in places like the Congo. They are brought in off the streets or left at orphanages. Not much is known about their histories. Rest assured, we did a lot of research on this and are glad that a very thorough investigation will be done to ensure our child is a legitimate orphan. Sadly, fraud is very real in the adoption world.

How are we going to afford this?

Fundraising, mostly. We sent out support letters and we’re going to do a trivia night/silent auction on June 23rd. We are quickly learning that when God calls us to a task, we should never let finances stop us. He will make a way. 

Are we adopting because we can’t get pregnant?

People ask this question because they don’t know any better. But if you’re reading this, now you do. It’s a question that’s better left unasked for so, so, so many reasons. Reasons I plan to expound upon in a future post.

Here’s my answer:

We’re adopting because there is an unfathomable need and we long to be obedient. We are incredibly excited. We are incredibly blessed. And we pray our child will never ever feel like a second choice.

How will we know our child won’t have AIDS?

The simple answer? We won’t. Even though we’ll have a comfortable degree of confidence, there are no guarantees. But when are there ever? Having a kid is filled with risk. Whether that child comes from my womb or another woman’s. Should God give us a child with AIDS or some other unknown health issue, we’ll trust that He’ll also give us the strength and resources to care for and love that little one.

How will this affect the child we have now?

Hugely.

He’s going to go from being an only child to an older brother. So of course he will be affected. Just like he’d be affected if I were having a biological child.

But besides that….

How will this affect Brogan?

It will open his eyes to a world so much bigger than himself.

It will show him that families are not born of blood, but from love.

It will show him that skin color is arbitrary. His brother or sister will be black.

It will show him that life is about so much more than what is easy and comfortable.

It will show him that when we see an injustice, our heartbreak means nothing without action.

It will show him that when God says to take care of orphans in their distress, He was talking to us.

That is how it will affect Brogan. And I truly cannot wait.

Let’s Talk: Do you have any questions? I’d be happy to answer them. If you were adopting, or if you have adopted, how would you answer these?

In other news, my publisher is running a giveaway through Family Fiction for a chance to win an exclusive, advanced copy of my debut novel. If you don’t want to wait until May to read it, you can click here to enter. It’s easy and quick to sign up!