Last Friday, I wrote a guest post for Cathy West about publication. How it’s turning out to be everything I thought it would be and nothing like I thought it would be.
One of the things that I probably expected to some degree, but didn’t truly realize was the pressure.
Maybe this isn’t how it is with every debut author.
Maybe I’m just a head case.
Maybe I put more pressure on myself than the average bear.
I don’t know.
But on this side of publication, the pressure is intense.
I didn’t prepare for it – this self-induced pressure.
But it’s there.
For a million and one reasons, I want my book to do well.
Some of the reasons are good. Some of the reasons are probably less than noble.
Regardless, the pressure is there.
And for awhile, I was letting that pressure zap the fun right out of this journey. I was inviting the Joy Thief into my life.
Something had to change.
So at some point last week, I decided enough was enough. No more. It was time to take back the fun.
I could choose to worry and fret and obsess over things I have little control over – like sales and rankings and reviews.
Or I could choose to enjoy my life and this dream that is supposed to be fantastic.
How?
By taking my focus off of me and my book.
By staying away from Author Central (AKA: the devil’s brainchild).
By focusing on the things that make this journey fun!
Like writing stories that stir my soul.
Like meeting and connecting with people.
Like praising God every time I hear from a reader who has been blessed by Wildflowers from Winter.
Like hugging my husband and laughing with my son and stepping away from the computer.
I read this quote the other day on Twitter. A quote I’ve heard before. A quote I absolutely love:
Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.
It’s so easy, on this side of publication, to become the opposite of humble. It’s so easy to become consumed with thoughts of my book and my sales.
But man, talk about draining.
Thinking of others? Focusing outside of ourselves?
That’s taking back the fun. That’s the road I want to travel.
Let’s Talk: Do you feel the pressure? Are you letting anything steal the fun out of whatever journey you’re traveling?
Jessica Patch’s entire book club is reviewing my book on her blog today. Hop on over to see what they thought!
Katie, I just love how honest you are. It’s so refreshing. And yes, I may have cringed when I read the part about closing your computer to spend time with your family. Something I need to do better at.
Sounds normal to me, Katie! My sister and I can put pressure on ourselves with even the tiniest aspects of life. Do not ask about our recent conversation about hemming curtains. Seriously. 🙂
Anyway, I think the release of your debut novel is a pretty amazing time in life, and it’s natural to wake up in the middle of the night wondering if you’ve done everything you can to insure good sales. Then, too, you have the blog tour–a lot of time has to be put into it and you don’t want to let anyone down–especially since they’re helping you! I can only guess that publishing has it’s own seasons. With each release, there will be added pressure. However, there will be “down-times” for writing, editing, and all that stuff.
I soooo love your heart, Katie.
Pressure.
Yes.
Self-induced.
Yes.
Making myself a bit crazy.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
And, yes, I’m looking for the relief valve.
I find taking daily “help me get my head on straight, Lord” walks helps a lot.
and I haven’t gone near Author Central. That’s a portal to hell in my opinion.
Thanks for putting it out there, Katie.
Love you!
Good for you, Katie! Take back the fun. Enjoy and savor the moments. Celebrate!
Your book is next on my reading list. Looking forward to “meeting” Bethany. I’m so excited for you, and for Keli and her up coming release date.
You go, girl!
Thank you for your honest blogging. I have wanted to be published for so long and it is good to hear the reality of it, because I know full well that if I get there I will find the pressure that I put myself under intense. It’s hard enough now! I am trying to step back too and stay with the fun of writing. And I remind myself too that life isn’t all about books and writing and to get out and have some fun. Today we had a street party to celebrate the jubilee here in the UK, and it was great!
Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.
I loved this quote, Katie. I too can easily put too much pressure on myself. I have to remember to leave the results of my work to God. I’m learning so much from your journey. Thanks for your honesty.
Oh, yes, pressure! I’ve put pressure on myself in many areas for years. Writing is no different. Currently, I am self-pressurizing myself to be published. If God blesses my endeavors to do just that, I’m sure it’ll turn into pressure to be published again. And always is the guilt of not being able to “do-it-all.”
I, too, love the quote, Katie. Thanks for the encouragement! Praying you can hold on to letting go and having fun!
Katie – okay, I know you’re trying not to make this all about you… so I guess that means we have to do it for you.
I just saw that Wildflowers From Winter was awarded FICTION OF THE MONTH on The Book Club Network – 45.9% of the votes! You go, girl!
Hope that adds to your fun factor today!
Great article, Katie! Such a blessing to get to learn from those who are going before me! Hopefully I can avoid the unnecessary pressure if I get to walk your path someday.
Woohoo, taking back the fun! I love that. 🙂 I feel pressure but I also think you’re a very determined, Type A personality so you’ve probably added to yourself stuff you didn’t need. Plus all the other things you have going on…wow, so proud of you for taking that deep breath and just enjoying yourself. 🙂 Keep it up, girl! Your reviews are stellar and I’m so excited for where you’re going!!
Katie, thank you for the honesty in this post. There are so many things that can steal the joy in this journey–at every part of this journey. I’ve been there recently, and know it will probably happen again. Now I need to remember to remind myself to reassess where I’m at here and there. If something is lacking, if something is bringing me down, figure out what it is and adjust. Take back the joy!
Oh yeah, I feel pressure, even on the “pre” side of published. The ridiculous thing is, I put most of the pressure on myself. Why do we do this to ourselves?
I love your take…especially how you pointed out that you had to make a choice to escape the pressure. Sometimes it really takes mental focus to, well, not focus so hard on the things squeezing our nerves.
Katie, I appreciate your honesty here. Like Wendy, I’m right there behind you, learning. Love the humility quote. I might be self-absorbed a time or two, and yes, it helps to do a 180 focus shift.
Being wise about the business aspect of writing/publishing is important, but if we are consumed by it, we can miss the gifts we have. Gifts meant to be shared, like husband hugs and helping your neighbor, and the talents that are God’s gifts back to him.
How we do “business” now affects our investment in eternity.
Katie, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your insights along your publishing journey. I love how much you strive to balance family and writing. As I gear up for next month’s new Bible study release, I’m keeping your wise words handy. There’s a fine line between being conscientious and obsessed. I could see me crossing it without even seeing it.
The words that have carried me many a day are from the Message: “But when it was all done, David was overwhelmed with guilt because he had counted the people, replacing trust with statistics.” 2Samuel 24:10 … My prayer is to choose Trust over Statistics… with God’s grace. Cannot do it on our own. You’re human. You’re going to look at numbers. Followers. Sales. etc. But don’t let the “stats” replace Him on the throne of your heart!!
Thanks for your honesty! 🙂 -Raj
Raj,
What a great scripture! It is so easy to get overwhelmed by our own misplaced trust, isn’t it!
Becky
What a blessing you and your honesty are, Katie. I love that I’m getting a realistic look at the publication journey from someone who is very similar to me (soul sisters, I’m convinced). If I ever do get published, I’m sure I’ll be back here reading your posts.
Back in March, I was so stressed about revising my book again. A wise mentor told me to take some time off. I took some time to read craft books so I didn’t “waste” time but wasn’t putting pressure on myself to produce. And funny…that month was one of the most productive I’ve had!
I definitely feel the pressure…and for me it was mostly because I knew (thought I knew?) that all future book deals hinged on strong sales figures. So, I spent hours fretting over selling, selling, selling. When my book sunk on Amazon, I was sad. When it rose, I grew hopeful. And in hindsight, I realize I was wasting time and emotional energy on unimportant things. Anyway, next time you start to fret about your sales numbers, email me and I’ll tell you my royalty statement story… it’s a doozy… and I promise you’ll be encouraged that sales figures just aren’t that important.
Love the honesty. Love the lessons. You are my twin, so I’m learning. Learning. Learning from you.
~ Wendy
I’m definitely one to throw myself in the pressure cooker and holler out for others to turn up the steam. Lately, I’ve been like you, ready to relax and enjoy the journey. When I made that choice, things in the here and now opened up and I gotta say, for now, I’m doing what I know to do and enjoying writing and plotting, and connecting with others. Notice I said, “for now!” LOL
I think it’s a character trait for most writers to put too much pressure on themselves, over-analyze everything, worry that it’s never enough. It just seems that in order to persevere and persist on this journey, those characteristics can’t help but to seep in. And they’re not all bad character traits to have. Those traits push us toward deadlines and pick us up when we have thoughts of giving up. We just have to balance that crazy ambition with joy and pleasure and the relationships that mean so much to us. We have to let the joy squash the overwhelming pressure that comes with that other stuff.
We had a fundraiser last night for my mission trip. Exactly 30 people, including my family, showed. I was aiming/hoping for 100 people. I was EXTREMELY disappointed. EXTREMELY VERY TOTALLY CRUSHINGLY disappointed.
Then a still, small voice whispered in my ear.
“My child, Who is in charge here?”
*I* wanted oodles of support to come in and be all done in one evening.
Someone else has other plans for me. To prosper me, and not to harm me. And by “prosper” it means “grow”. Not on my own steam, but His power.
My dear friend who played piano as I blew the low notes (I’m a high soprano, I don’t *do* low notes. I just can not hit them!) Gave me Is 45 vs 2 and 3
I will go before you
and will level the mountains[a];
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.
3 I will give you hidden treasures,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the Lord,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
I am “summoned”. But He’ll blow the doors off!!!
Cool.
That takes the pressure off,
Wow – I need those to be memory verses. Thanks so much for sharing, Jennifer!
I think I’ve been putting unnecessary pressure on myself since the day I started this journey. Like you, I pile it on even more since earning the status of ‘published author’. My fear is that I’ll be a one hit wonder. Never see another story of mine published. Ever. Yet I keep working, keep writing and of course I worry constantly, which is awful. I need to set it all aside and remember that God is in control, not me. It’s hard though, but I guess we’re human right? 🙂
I’m rolling in self induced pressure 😉
Like ACFW Conference. It’s a massive financial commitment for us, not to mention leaving my husband to hold down the fort alone with our speed ninja for ten days. I know he just wants me to go and learn and have a great time, but I feel like if I don’t come home with AT LEAST one request for a proposal I’ll be a massive disappointment.
Which of course the sane part of me knows couldn’t be further from the truth, but hey, you have to have at least a little bit of crazy to embark on this writing journey!