Ever been in a rut?
I have. Especially lately. Not a writing rut, but a why-do-I-have-to-spend-eight-hours-of-my-day-at-work rut. There are a million things I’d rather do. Like spend time with my son. Stay on top of the laundry. Exercise. Get involved with women’s ministry at our church. And of course, write.
The clock gets closer and closer to 6:15 am and I know I have to save the work on my computer and get into the shower and everything in me shouts, “I don’t wanna!”
Life goes so darn quickly and the busier we are, the quicker it goes. Sometimes I just want to shout, “Time out!” Zack Morris style (you Saved by the Bell fans know what I’m talking about). Spending a third of my day at work, then trying to cram all the other stuff in when I get home….it gets to me. Leaves me feeling a little blue.
Here’s the thing. I’m not quitting. At least not anytime soon. This is my reality right now. I’m a full-time teacher, mother, and writer. Trying to fit it all in. My passion (writing) has to get shoved to the side sometimes.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person in this particular boat. I’m pretty sure most people wish they had more time to do what they love and could spend less time on the things they don’t.
So what do we do? How do we get ourselves out of those ruts?
- Stop telling ourselves the grass is greener on the other side. Whether we work full-time, or have a passel of kids running around our feet all day, there’s always going to be something we have to do that we aren’t particularly thrilled about. Something that cuts into our writing time. Just yesterday, my pastor said, “Stop wishing for a different life, and live the one you have for Him.” It was like God decided to speak to me.
- Find a new perspective. When I’m in a rut, I tend to look at everything through glass-half-empty lenses. If I force myself to step back and look at things a little differently, that unmotivated feeling in my chest starts to shrivel. I mean, I have a job, one I actually enjoy. I have insurance because of that job. Our budget has room to breathe. My writing is independent of our finances and there’s so much freedom in that. Any money I make is a bonus, something we can save, or give, or use to further my writing career.
- Consider the perks. There are always perks. Because hubby and I both work full-time, we share the responsibility of housework. If I’m honest, he probably does more than me. I mean, I rarely have to do laundry or go grocery shopping. I’m sure a lot of women would love to be in that situation!
- No matter how bad the rut, in the words of my mother, don’t wish your life away. Like I said earlier, life goes way too fast and man, I don’t want to be sixty-five and retired, regretting that I spent my younger years wishing for something different. I want to live present in each moment. With purpose and joy and thanksgiving.
- Look at other factors – what’s the root of the rut? Have I been eating healthy? Exercising? Spending time with God? Have I been a good steward with the time I do have to write? A lot of times, when I examine these other factors, I find that there are things I can change, things I can do differently to get myself back on track motivationally.
So there you go. Those are some of the things I do when I find myself wishing for different circumstances. Most of the time they work. But sometimes, I just have to pray and let things run their course. We all go through seasons. Sometimes, I just have to remind myself that, “This too, shall pass.”
Question to Ponder: Are there things you have to do that you wish you didn’t have to do? How do you battle the unmotivation? What tips do you have when it comes to battling ruts?
I definitely know how you feel. And I've been doing it for years. I like your solutions. Most things can be improved with a change of attitude and focus. Thanks for the reminder.
Good points Katie. I do laundry everyday, but since we came home I had extra. I've folded and put away four loads today. Tomorrow I have to grocery shop…yick.
You're such a huge part of other kids' day, you know. I hope work goes better for you because you're such a fun, sweet person that I know you're making some kid learn better or feel better about themselves. 😉 That's really a great thing.
I SO relate to this post. Hail to working moms/writers everywhere!!! 🙂
Wonderful post, Katie, and perfectly timed! The Christmas season seems to be when everyone is busier than ever.
When I look back and see how quickly the years have passed (and they go faster every year) I realize how important it is to make the most of today. Yesterday is gone; tomorrow hasn't come yet; today is *it*. I love knowing each day is a fresh start. Even if it sometimes takes a bit of scrambling, it's a gift from God.
Oh yeah! I'm a stay-at-home mom and full time writer, but I don't have unlimited time. I have many obligations each day that I'd rather trade. Every life choice involves giving up some things and gaining others.
I'm thankful for my life even if it's not perfect because it's mine!
Just what I need to read today. Great points and I truly appreciate them at this point in my life.
Happy holidays!
Great post, Katie! I've fallen into the grass-is-greener mentality too, and it just never is. I love your positive outlook.
You make so many great points here, Katie. It's too easy to wish our lives away or to lose focus of the beauty in the now. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Hi Katie –
I admire you and others who juggle so many tasks. Years ago, I commuted two hours each way to work in addition to managing my household. If I had to do it today, I'd collapse.
Blessings,
Susan 🙂
Wow, you have A LOT going on! I know it's hard to juggle all of it and do all the things you love to do and the things you have to do at the same time. Your points are great… I'm so impressed with your early morning writing sessions!
Your mother is a wise woman! Somedays it feels like I'm doing just that, wishing my life away. But sometimes we need to dream to build a new reality. I heart this post Katie! Well done.
This is a great post. I really like the 'not wishing your life away'. It's so important to just enjoy the gifts God has given us.
Thanks for blessing me today.
-Mel
I'm sailing in that boat right along with you. I love your advice, especially your mom's. She must be a really cool lady. 🙂
I guess we all have things that are in the way of the things we'd rather be doing. The problem is, there isn't enough time in the day. So the stuff that HAS to be done gets done first. Then with our remaining time left in the day we do the stuff WE REALLY WANT TO DO.
Sometimes my time with the creator suffers. And that makes me sad. I try not to let it happen, but it does. That's the MOST important thing I do. Why do I let it go first sometimes?
Great post, Katie, my (we haven't started Christmas shopping yet) bud. 🙂 I do have two, but they don't count. I just like to brag that I have two. 🙂
I know Zack. Whatever happened to him, anyway?
Oh, Katie, I'm so glad you wrote about this topic. I've been feeling in a rut lately, thinking, "Well, if I had all the time to write that THEY do, I'd be putting out a book or two a year, too!"
All that fretting gets me nowhere. I'm better off to ask the Lord how to simplify my life, and be thankful for the time I do have.
You are a blessing!
I needed that advice today. Stop wishing for another life. And I totally need to get back into a routine of exercising. I think that would help me a lot.
Thanks for the post.
Great post! I need to put these little reminders up all over the house 🙂 I especially like the first and remember this lately has been helpful. No matter what situation I'm in, there's always going to be something to complain about or worry about or be less than thrilled about but it's not going to do any good wishing to be somewhere else. I'm trying to enjoy something about each day even when it's hard because it all goes by to fast.
Sometimes I have to remind myself I'm actually living my dream– because sometimes those dreams are delivered in a package I don't expect. I loved this post, your tips and your honesty. Just knowing others struggle with this balance is comforting.
Katie, what a well-written post, one that is so relevant. You tackle a topic we all deal with–time pressure–and offer great tips.
I feel for you. I can't imagine working full-time, mothering a toddler, AND writing. You are amazing! There must me a superwoman cape in your closet. =)
Wow. My toes are stepped on. I'm constantly wishing things were different. When they're not even bad! Something that works for me: Positive affirming statements. I know it's goofy, but whatever works, works. I am a good person. I am a worthy writer. I am happy, happy . . .
When I'm in one of those ruts (which is often), I try to put it in a different perspective. After I read A Woman After God's Own HEart, it helped me to focus on doing things for God–even as mundane as picking up my kidlet's clothes off the floor. He's my ultimate boss and watching me. It really helps in battling those ruts.
I don't know how you do it! I know if I had a full-time job, I definitely wouldn't be a writer – I'd go nuts from trying to cram it all in. But I love your perspective and I admire you for somehow accomplishing your dreams in the midst of every day living. It's tough when you start wishing for what you don't have – thanks for the reminder to think on other things!
Okay here comes the major confession. Sometimes it's hard being a mom. There, I said it. I'm not naturally gifted with little kids and I get wiped out. I know I'll miss these days and don't want to wish them away but it's easy to get into a rut with parenting and keeping up the creative teaching, etc.
Exercise is huge for me. HUGE. And obviously prayer, but like you said sometimes it's about making it through the season.
I'll walk with you through this. I'll pull you out of the mud (at the very least in prayer).
~ Wendy
Ruts are hard! Especially when you have to be doing your job. I try to tell myself that this is a season. my children won't always be this little. I won't always have to wipe their sticky fingers and make their dinners. And one day I will miss that I am sure. So that is how I get through my ruts. Everything changes. eventually. Seasons turn.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Being a fellow teacher, this week before Christmas break is definitely putting me in a rut.
I definitely understand watching the clock inch toward time to shut down the computer and start the day. All morning, I have had a bad case of "I don't wanna go!".
Thank you for adding some perspective to my Monday morning blahs.
Great post–words to take to heart.
Great suggestions, Katie! Yes, it's easy to wish your life away. Or "if-only" the time. If only I wasn't so busy. If only I had more time to write. But then we blink and ten years are gone. I want to live in the moment and savor each day! (Easier said than done!)
I love that you referenced a Zack Morris timeout! So funny! I definitely fall victim to the rut. It is tough working, writing and parenting! Surprisingly, I do feel better now if I'm getting up early to work out.