I’m reading through my rough draft of Wishing on Willows. Makes my stomach knot up like a tangled string of Christmas lights. I keep forcing myself to take deep, calming breaths. I keep reminding myself that this is how I always feel when I read through a first draft. My reminders do very little. Panic has its way. It perches inside my chest and heaves like a raving lunatic. Can you really fix this? Is this story even redeemable?
The problems so far? There are four that seem glaring at this point.
– Pacing feels all wrong. Too quick. Almost frantic. I can’t settle into one character long enough to get to know him or her.
– Motivations are not strong. Robin wants to save her cafe. Braxton wants to buy it. But who cares? I’d be shocked if the reader did at this point.
– Where’s my voice? Did it curl up and hibernate these past four months?
– Characterization. My characters feel flat. 2-dimensional, cardboard cutouts of the people I know them to be in my mind.
I’m not even focusing on the microedits right now. I’m ignoring all the passive tense. All the telling. All the cliches and redundant phrasing. Those are easy to fix. Those are fun to fix.
These larger problems. They frighten me. Make me want to tuck my tail between my legs and cower underneath a table. Ah, but that won’t get me anywhere, will it? I suppose I should remind myself that this is the writing journey. Writing the rough draft is the easy part. My only job then was to show up. To sit in front of the computer and follow my outline. To get words on the page. Now comes the hard work. The stuff that makes me squirm and sweat and doubt and pace and crack my knuckles five hundred times a minute.
The only remedy? Roll up my sleeves and get to work.
Questions to Ponder: What’s the hardest part of writing for you? Do revisions scare you as much as they scare me?
Girl I just laughed my way into a painful coughing fit over your "who cares? i'd be shocked if the reader did" point. We've all been there. Motivation is definitely key. I'm sure its not nearly as bad as you feel. But if you see issues, definitely don't ignore them. Have you taken time away from the manuscript? Sometimes a long break (like, weeks) is really necessary between drafts to see the manuscript in a more objective light…
Oh, Katie! Were you sneaking peeks into my journal or something? I stopped revising my third book because of that same panic. I finally left it (temporarily) in favour of starting another story during NaNoWriMo, but it's still there, waiting for me to gather my courage and get back to it. I know everything will come together in the end, because it always has. But so often we reach that point when the whole thing seems hopeless. Perseverance will get us through. You can do it, and so can I. I know we can!
Fears and doubts plague all of us at times, but I know you can do this. How do I know? Because you've done it before. You revised a manuscript and did such a good job that you were offered representation by Rachelle. Knowing the issues you want to address is over half the battle. Once you dig into your revisions, I trust the thrill of seeing your story improve will spur you on.
Rough drafts are what give me the heebie-jeebies. Staring at that blank page is enough to make me throw in the towel in a second. But once you get into the groove of things, it gets better. (And the same with revising.)
I hate the first round of editing- it's soooo painful! I read the first draft of HATSHEPSUT while on a cruise and almost chucked the darn thing off the side of the ship.
Just remember, one step at a time. You'll get it all ironed out. It just takes time!
Oh gosh. I'm taking deep breaths for you! But hang in there. Everything you said to comfort yourself was right, and if you tackle it one step at a time you'll be fine. You can do it!
Happy New Year!
I am not all that experienced yet but I have to say that revisions are certainly a challenge.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You can do it. The story is going to turn out wonderful and then you will be elated!
I hate editing. Hate. It.
Sounds like my same old story, girl. Not to worry!
Hardest part for me? Outlining. Being sure of the MDQ (major dramatic question) or MP (moral premise)
Blessings and God's hope for a peaceful New Year!
Patti
http://www.pattilacy.com/blog
Everytime I start a new project, I go through this! But it gets better.
The hardest part for me is pushing though the slow spots.
Happy writing!
starting is always the toughest part.
I think you've taken a trip inside my head. Srsly. I'm doing the same thing, and I have a friend reminding me over and over (and over) that my third drafts always look this way. They always need a major rewrite. They're bloody.
She said, "You're a multi-drafter, why are you trying to be perfect on one pass?"
I'm still scared to death, but at least I'm moving forward now. Good luck!
What's the hardest part of writing for me? Making that transition from planning the next book to actually starting to write it. I find myself paralyzed by the unknown and so I retreat back into that safe world of brainstorming, outlining, GMC charts, etc.
I know that once I actually get the first chapters written, then momentum builds and I can plow ahead to finish the first draft. It's just getting those first chapters written that's the hardest for me.
Revisions haven't been so bad. Especially with the help of great crit partners! (Even if they point out the big issues that take extreme creativity to know how to fix. Ugh.)
As someone once said, you can fix bad but you can't fix blank. You might have "bad" but I've got "blank." Guess what my New Year's resolution is?
So far the worst part for me is the first draft, reminding myself that's suppose to suck. Keeping my focus on finishing the overall bones of the piece.
Revision at least mean my story has been told. Not great- but told.
Katie, every writer goes through that at some point in time (and I wouldn't be surprised if it is with every rough draft :)!). I know I felt that way the few times I competed in NaNoWriMo.
Tackle the big problems first, like you're already doing. Sometimes an idea or a change of plot will strike and get you excited about revising!
It might seem daunting now but in the end I'm sure it will all work out. Don't forget that we are our own worst critics. Perhaps running your rough draft past a reader you trust to give you feedback will help immensely.
Good luck with your revisions!
I wish I could hand you a paper bag right now. Breathe in…. breathe out….. I know that you will work it out and it will turn out even better than you imagined. Praying for a great in-depth twist for your story to emerge. It will be great! :O)
All the problems you mentioned make me wonder if just writing the draft and not worrying is the right approach.
At least you see what needs to be fixed, that's half the battle.
You're doing great, Katie! Identifying problems is the first step to fixing them. So often I will read something of mine and think "Something's off here" but I don't know what it is so I can't fix it. That's where my fabo crit partners come in. (Usually they point it out and I have a head-slapping, Oh Duh! moment.)
One bite at a time.
You can do this!!! You can. You are a talented writer. Your story will only be better from the work you're about to put in!
I think the hardest part of writing for me is the fear that no matter how hard I work on a story and how much I improve on it, it still won't be good enough. Stupid voices. Can't listen to them!
Yes!!!! Revising scares me silly!!!!!!!!! Aarrggghhh! I have wrestled with the edits that my dad did on my first 6 chapters and it has been difficult. There were major things that needed to be fixed…motivation, character development, etc. Now that I have gotten through them and doing the next chapters on my own….I am terrified. I don't SEE the types of problems he did, but surely they are there! I feel like what I am doing is all in vain, waiting for my dad to finish it up and find so many mistakes that it is not really fixable.
Sigh….
So, yes, revising is hard! Really hard. I'll pray for you and you pray for me, okay?
I only have one completed manuscript right now, and like you, the microedits came easily to me. I still have a few big picture edits that I should tackle, but I'm taking an extended break to regroup on it.
My second manuscript (in progress) is in the drafting stage, but I feel much more confident as I'm writing it. So I hope that translates to less big-picture edits later. 🙂
Isn't it wierd how some people like some things about writing more and others, other things?
I, for example, would much rather work on BIG plot/character issues and rewrites, than the micro edits about stupid dad gum passive sentences and showing/telling stuff. The big stuff is fun to tackle… the little stuff is tedious and yawn inducing for me. LOL
Anyway, I'm not helping, sorry! You can do it, Katie!!!! I have 100% confidence that you'll have it in tip-top shape in no time!!
Oh good luck!! Revisions are daunting, but I don't find them scary. At least not on the project I'm working on now. I love it too much and I want it to be the best it can. That will only happen if I revise. Furiously.
Oh girl, that does sound scary, put like that! I tend to like revisions. It's the rough draft that sends me into a cold sweat. You'll get that thing spiffed up, no worries. 🙂
Filling in plot holes. Sometimes it can be VERY tedious and frustrating. That's where I'm at right now….