This Christmas didn’t feel much like Christmas. Mainly because the week leading up to it, hubby got sick, then I got sick. It was like 96 hours of delirium. Then, just when we thought we were all in the clear, hubby got slammed again. On Christmas Eve. A constant deluge of throw up (ew). We were supposed to drive to Wisconsin. Well, that wasn’t going to happen. So while hubby camped out in the bathroom, I took Brogan to Christmas Eve service all by myself. In the rain. Oh yeah. Did I mention that it rained ALL day long on Christmas Eve? A constant down pour. It felt sort of weird. Being at church without Ryan. Knowing we were supposed to be in Wisconsin. Having to use an umbrella on December 24th.
I had all these expectations for Christmas this year. I thought I’d go shopping the week before. I thought I’d have fun picking out cool presents. But I was too sick or taking care of somebody who was sick to give much attention to gifts. Then I thought we’d have a fun time driving to Wisconsin and celebrating with Ryan’s family. That didn’t happen either. We ended up driving up Christmas morning. Ryan slept in the back of the van with Bubba while my windshield wipers squeaked against the windshield the entire two and a half hours (yes, it rained all day on Christmas too). I thought it would be cozy and white, not rainy and gray. I thought I’d feel very tuned into Jesus and the miracle of His birth, but I was flat-out distracted.
Needless to say, my expectations weren’t met.
I had to ask myself, after moping around the house: Katie, how are you handling the unexpected?
Because, really, that’s what life is, isn’t it? Unexpected.
We have an image or an idea in our head about how something is going to be. How something will play out. Expectations chase us wherever we go. We have them for nearly everything. Marriage. Relationships. Jobs. Parenthood. Writing. Health. Faith. The new year. The future.
Sometimes, or maybe a lot of times, our expectations go unmet. For whatever reason, what we imagined and what ends up happening just don’t fit together. Something unexpected happens and throws everything off course.
That’s just life.
We can’t control it. We can only control how we respond to it. And we usually have two choices. We can choose to mope around the house because things aren’t going how we expected. Or we can choose to embrace the unexpected. To embrace it in all its messy glory. To embrace it because we only get one life to live, and time’s too short and valuable to waste on pouting.
Question to Ponder: How do you handle the unexpected?
Your words about dealing with the unexpected ring so true. I hope you are all feeling better by now … poor things … certainly not the way you had hoped to spend the Christmas season.
Good post. I do not always handle dashed expectations with the grace that I should…
Hi Katie –
Bummer that you and your hubby were so sick.
If all of you are healthy this week, why not do a Christmas re-run? So what if it isn't December 25th. Or do something extra special each day like watch a movie and have popcorn together.
Blessings,
Susan 🙂
“Pray without ceasing and give thanks in all circumstances” (I Thess 5:17-18) sure takes on new meaning when things go awry. I'm so sorry about all the illness in your household and hope everyone's well again now. Christmas is Christmas no matter how we are when it arrives, but it's frustrating when we aren't well enough to enjoy the things we've been looking forward to doing.
gosh…maybe that's why i didn't hear from you that week! whoa, momma. so sorry to hear you were feeling so ill. hopefully everyone's doing better…and hopefully little brog didn't get it! saw that you called…but couldn't answer at work! sorry about that, too! maybe one of these days we'll catch up. i don't even remember what my life used to be like hardly. certainly not critiquing. or writing, for that matter. *sigh*
jeannie
The Character Therapist
I'm sorry to hear about your unexpected Christmas. The unexpected is difficult to handle, but I try to attempt to make the best out of everything.
I have something for you on my blog 🙂
There is no way to prepare for the unexpected, otherwise you'd expect it. The only thing you can do is grow from it, recognize others who are suffering in the same way you have, and try to make life better for them.
Unless the unexpected is good…
You're so wise in the way you thought this through, Katie. And thank you for sharing it with us, because we all need to consider the unexpected, and how we'll deal with it.
Hope all in your house are well now. Happy New Year!
What a pain to be sick around Christmas. It seems that there is always something that throws us for a loop this time of year. One of my strengths is Adaptablility (all employees at our school district have to take this test from StrenthFinders) and so it is easier for me to adapt to change than others. I can usually go with the flow and see the positive in most situations. (having trouble finding positive with the throwup though!) Living 25 years as a minister's wife, I have learned that nothing is ideal. Nothing. That's because of the world we live in. So we take the good and roll with the flow. Sure there is disappointment, but it is all in the attitude. I have trouble seeing you as anything but positive. Your positivity shines through your writing on your blog. 🙂 Here's to a GREAT New Year's Day!!!!!!!!
I enjoyed reading about your woes. Why? My family was visiting this week and during dinner we discussed Christmases past and the one year that we were all sick stands out in our memories. One day, you will all laugh about 2009 Christmas.
I feel you on the unexpected. I was sick, but not that sick! (Sorry!) But we had plans that got interrupted by other family members. Sure, we made it work, but it wasn't what I was expecting.
I find that when I don't expect anything, I'm not let down. And I can feel more joy. So while I do have expectations — and high ones — in certain parts of my life, in others I don't. Especially writing. I just roll with the punches in that arena.
That must have been God's theme for this Christmas, because nothing went as planned at my house either! (And it was dull and dreary here, too…yuck)
I'm learning to deal with it. After our Christmas plans changed for the 13th time, I finally asked God what was up. His response?
Can, and will, I still worship when everything is out of my control?
Ouch. That's a hard one. I'm not great at it yet, but I'm learning to deal with it.
Hope things get better there this week!
Thanks so much for posting this. I'm so sorry to hear you were sick, but gosh, this has been my constant struggle lately. Life isn't where I thought it would be and I'm dealing with just that–how to deal with the unexpected. It's just nice to hear from others that it can be normal to feel this way!
http://www.sarahnoelsmusings.blogspot.com
I also got sick on Christmas this year, the day before we were planning to go to downtown Chicago to spend a couple days with family in the city. At that point, I just wanted to go home, but I felt bad ruining everyone else's plans. So I ended up spending the day after Christmas being pushed around Navy Pier in a wheelchair and sleeping half the time. Definitely not how I expected the weekend to go, but I just rolled with it (pardon the pun). 🙂
Wow, that is a Christmas you'll always remember. I'm sorry it was rough. Hopefully you'll feel better soon.
I'm not very spontanenous but I've had to learn over the years to be more flexible. It's impossible to have a plan in missions. Still, there are some "sacred areas", like Christmas, where I really struggle if my expectations aren't met.
I'm so sorry about the sickness, and I hope you're feeling better now.
One thing God has been showing me lately, and I'm trying to grasp better, is that I am at my most teachable when my expectations are not being met.
I've had a lot of teachable moments lately…sigh.
I too had a Christmas where things threw me for a loop. I used Primal Scream Therapy and then Shopping Therapy (I got a cool phone for me). Then it was just time to pull up the big girl panties and deal with things. Along with high expectations for this holiday, comes high stress. Already had enough of that. Though things weren't done to Norman Rockwell standards, they were good enough. We had a nice quiet holiday. Good enough.
Well, boogar brains and poo poos that you were sick over Christmas! Hope all are well and spunky by now, dear.
Funny you should post about this, Katie. Our one and only car would not start this morning. Since we live six miles out of town and there was three inches of snow on the highway, I knew walking would not work as a Plan B. Thank God for helpful neighbors who work on the same block as I!
I'm proud of you for finding a Plan B to your unexpected upset, and not wigging out,even though you were disappointed.
Love,
Jen
Audience of ONE
I'm sorry about the sickness. 🙁 Hopefully you guys can have a more fun New Year. 🙂
Sometimes I deal with the unexpected okay. I guess it depends on what activity got interrupted. LOL
Being sick is bad enough, but at Christmas is so unfair. I hope your family is on the mend and your sweet child doesn't get it.
I'm learning not to have high expectations because that way I'm not set up for disappointment. Yesterday unmet expectations smacked me across the face and left a mark on my face. I ranted to my mother and sister and cradled up in Jesus' arms, knowing He will never let me down.
I'm learning how to embrace the unexpected with grace. Yesterday my grace-o-meter was maxed out, but thankfully I could get a Godly refill. Seems like I need this refill often…
so sorry you guys were sick and with all the rain too!
well, the unexpected haunts every second of my life too.. I expect it unfortunately.
day before Christmas the kitchen ceiling started leaking and a puddle of water has gathered in my floor. Don't know why.
Major repairs are now needed. aaaaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhhh.
Yuck, yuck, so sorry you had to deal with that! Being sick at Christmas is NO NO NO fun at all!
How do I deal with the unexpected? Probably not as well as I should, especially when it "ruins" plans like it did yours. But I guess sometimes we just have to acknowledge what we've lost, mourn, then buck up and get over it.
Not easy though while it's happening… and I say that even though I do a terrible job of it myself!!!
Yeah we had the rain and ice and ickiness in MI too. Barely made it home Christmas even the roads were so bad. It was an odd Christmas indeed.
Well I hope this week gets better and the sickness goes away. Dealing with the unexpected is a pain for sure!
You hit the nail on the head. Some days it's easier to remember that than others though, isn't it? I'm sorry your Christmas didn't go as planned. I hope you're all healthy now!
Great post, Katie. I usually get discumbobulated…but I'm trying to remember to pray first and ascertain what God wants me to do with the speed bump. Take care!
Sorry to hear about all of the illness, Katie! Hope you didn't catch the second one and that Brogan stayed healthy!
I think that dealing with the unexpected involves disappointment and we should allow ourselves to feel that loss. Yet, if we wallow too long in the disappointments, then it turns to self-pity. So the next step, as you said, is to count our blessings. We have so many!
Hope you enjoy your week off of school!
Great post Katie! It hits home in a lot of ways. I can't say I handle it the best way, in fact I could do a lot better. Being flexible is prudent and wise in this life. I pray that I will grow in this area.