Category: romance

“I love him. I’m just not in love with him anymore.”

I heard these words on a show recently and they totally rankled.

I think because they feel like a cop out. An excuse to bolt the minute love isn’t fun anymore.

And I think it feed a lie so many of us believe.

That romantic love is, above all else, a feeling.

And when that feeling disappears, well then….perhaps it’s time to move on.

Okay.

So don’t get me wrong.

People can experience feelings of love. No doubt.

Especially when a couple first starts to fall. Those early days when being apart physically hurts. When you can’t wipe that goofy grin off your face. When the mere thought of your honey makes you swoon (do boys swoon, or is that strictly a female phenomenon?). When you read Song of Songs and think Solomon stole the words right out of your heart.

The feeling of romantic love is a strong, heady thing.

The lie comes in when we believe those feelings are meant to last. And when they’re no longer there, we’re meant to separate.

I’m not saying these feelings go away completely or that after a certain amount of time, we’re incapable of experiencing them.

I’m just saying feelings are so fleeting. So fickle. And love is so much  more than that.

Love is a choice.

Love is an action.

Love is commitment.

And commitment takes work. Hard, determined work.

This is the kind of love that gets a couple through the valleys and the storms and the sometimes mundane, sometimes stressful everyday act of living.

This is the kind of love that makes a couple two halves of the same whole.

These are the couples on the dance floor at a wedding, with fifty plus years of marriage in their pocket.

I don’t know about you, but I find that picture so much more romantic than even the most passionate beginning. A true testament to the word love.

Let’s Talk: Agree or disagree? Have you heard anything that’s rankled you lately?