Ever since announcing our adoption to friends, family, and acquaintances, we’ve fielded lots and lots of questions. Questions I think most adoptive parents face at one point or another. I thought it might be fun to answer them here.
Why the Congo?
Because the situation is desperate. Heart-breakingly desperate. And as my friend Kristin Reickard likes to say, we can’t unlearn the things we’ve seen and read while we researched our options.
Almost always, this question is asked out of curiosity. But every so often, the tone teeters toward hurtful. There are people who don’t understand why we would adopt internationally when there are children in the United States without families.
Here’s the thing. When God commands His children to take care of orphans in their distress, I’m pretty sure the command came without borders. We have a heart for Africa. So to Africa we will go. I’m not going to pit domestic adoption against international. Both are needed. Both are good.
How long will the process take?
12-15 months. But with this estimate comes so much unknown. We’re trying to surrender our expectations on this one.
Is it safe to travel there?
There are safer places. It’s an unsettled country. With that said, am I worried for our lives? No. I’m really not.
Will we be adopting a baby?
By the time we bring our child home, he/she will most likely be one and a half to three years of age. The majority of orphans are older children.
Are we going to adopt a boy or a girl?
Although we could specify gender if we wanted, we’re going to opt for a surprise.
How much will we know about our child’s history?
Not much. This is just the reality for orphans in places like the Congo. They are brought in off the streets or left at orphanages. Not much is known about their histories. Rest assured, we did a lot of research on this and are glad that a very thorough investigation will be done to ensure our child is a legitimate orphan. Sadly, fraud is very real in the adoption world.
How are we going to afford this?
Fundraising, mostly. We sent out support letters and we’re going to do a trivia night/silent auction on June 23rd. We are quickly learning that when God calls us to a task, we should never let finances stop us. He will make a way.
Are we adopting because we can’t get pregnant?
People ask this question because they don’t know any better. But if you’re reading this, now you do. It’s a question that’s better left unasked for so, so, so many reasons. Reasons I plan to expound upon in a future post.
Here’s my answer:
We’re adopting because there is an unfathomable need and we long to be obedient. We are incredibly excited. We are incredibly blessed. And we pray our child will never ever feel like a second choice.
How will we know our child won’t have AIDS?
The simple answer? We won’t. Even though we’ll have a comfortable degree of confidence, there are no guarantees. But when are there ever? Having a kid is filled with risk. Whether that child comes from my womb or another woman’s. Should God give us a child with AIDS or some other unknown health issue, we’ll trust that He’ll also give us the strength and resources to care for and love that little one.
How will this affect the child we have now?
Hugely.
He’s going to go from being an only child to an older brother. So of course he will be affected. Just like he’d be affected if I were having a biological child.
But besides that….
How will this affect Brogan?
It will open his eyes to a world so much bigger than himself.
It will show him that families are not born of blood, but from love.
It will show him that skin color is arbitrary. His brother or sister will be black.
It will show him that life is about so much more than what is easy and comfortable.
It will show him that when we see an injustice, our heartbreak means nothing without action.
It will show him that when God says to take care of orphans in their distress, He was talking to us.
That is how it will affect Brogan. And I truly cannot wait.
Let’s Talk: Do you have any questions? I’d be happy to answer them. If you were adopting, or if you have adopted, how would you answer these?
In other news, my publisher is running a giveaway through Family Fiction for a chance to win an exclusive, advanced copy of my debut novel. If you don’t want to wait until May to read it, you can click here to enter. It’s easy and quick to sign up!
I think I’m naive. 
God sets the lonely in families. This is what Psalms 68:6 tells us. And this is the promise Ryan and I are clinging to as we step into the unsettled, slightly unknown waters of adoption.