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Old Fashioned Romance: The Art of Being Pursued

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

Call me old fashioned. Call me archaic. But when it comes to dating, I think the man should pursue the woman. I think, deep down, every woman wants to be pursued.

In high school, I was way too eager to date. Way too eager to be liked by boys. Anytime one showed interest, I’d quickly turn into that girl. The one who called too much, hoping the boy didn’t have caller ID. The one who expended way too much emotion and energy trying to figure out if the guy liked me back.

Sigh.

I wish I could go back to that silly girl, put my hands on her shoulders, look into her eyes, and say, “Stop. Please.”

Thankfully, in college, things changed. I met this really awesome girl. She taught me the art of being pursued. And I’m not talking about hard-to-get. I’m talking about old-fashioned romance. Where the man courts the girl. Where the man takes the initiative. Where the man has to work a little.

It was right around this time that a very cute guy dropped into my world. I decided to take a page out of my friend’s book.

On our first date, we talked about silly things. Like if we believed in ghosts. Random, I know. When the date ended, I refused to ask if I’d see him again. I said goodbye. He said goodbye. I really liked him. But I had no idea if he really liked me.

Until he called the next day. To ask me on another date. Any insecurity I might have felt. Any confusion over whether he liked me or not. Disappeared. Because he was the one calling me. He was the one asking me out. I don’t think I finally called him until our fifth or sixth date.

And guess what?

I’ve been married to my cute guy for a little over seven years.

Despite today’s culture, where it’s just as acceptable for a woman to ask for a guy’s digits, I still stand by my old-fashioned claim. Let the man do the pursuing. In both fiction and real life. If for no other reason than it’s incredibly romantic.

Let’s Talk: What are your thoughts? Do you think the man should do the pursuing? When it comes to novels and movies, do you feel the same way? If you’re married – what’s your story? Who did the pursuing?

I’m over at Deana Barnhart’s blog today doing an interview. I’d love for you to stop by if you get a chance!removetweetmeme

Beautiful Things

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

Dust.

We see it and wrinkle our nose. We see it and grab a rag. Sweep it away. Suck it into our vacuums. Make it disappear.

Because dust means dirt. Dust means allergies. Dust means neglect. And we want those things to go away.

The title of this post is the title of a song. Have you listened to it? It’s called Beautiful Things, by Gungor.

The chorus goes like this:
You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of us.

I’m obsessed with it. The melody is beautiful. The words, even more so.

But mostly, I’m obsessed with it because I want this truth to saturate my stories. Each and every one. The breath-taking, awe-inspiring, mind-blowing truth that Christ can make beautiful things out of the dust.

He redeems the utterly broken. Breathes new life into the forgotten.

I recently got the content edits for my contracted novel, Beneath a Velvet Sky. In case you’re not a writer, content edits are the first of many edits authors go through when they work with a publishing house. These are the big, comprehensive edits. One of the questions my editor asked had to do with my main character’s career.

Bethany is an architect.

My editor wanted to know why. She wants my readers to know why, too.

Because I didn’t choose this career for her randomly. I didn’t throw a bunch of jobs in a hat and pluck out architect. I had a reason.

Bethany wants to design big and beautiful things. She wants to associate herself with grandeur. She wants to put her name on impressive creations. To be able to point to them and say, “See that over there? I made that.”

Only she’s stuck in renovations, and renovating old buildings isn’t what she had in mind when she signed up to be an architect.

This isn’t random either.

Because God wants to show Bethany something. He wants to show her how much renovation matters to Him. He wants to show her that He’s in the business of renovation too.

He wants to show her that He can take the filthy, neglected, unbeautiful things of this world and make them beautiful. Make them new.

Like a situation.

Or a heart.

Or a life.

He renovates them every single day. Every single hour.

He wants to renovate hers.

He wants to renovate ours.

Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Genesis 2:7

Let’s Talk: Have you witnessed God’s renovation? In what ways has He renovated you?

*Picture by Mat and Raviremovetweetmeme

Tension or Frustration?

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

There was this book I read recently that made me all kinds of frustrated. My inner growl came out. I found myself skimming through the last third of the story, rolling my eyes, muttering things like, “Come on, already!”

Which got me thinking.

As writers, we talk a lot about the importance of tension. Heck, Donald Maass says we better have it on every single page. So the question begs to be asked.

What’s the difference between tension and frustration?

Is there one?

When I think of frustrating books, two titles come to mind. Both are best-sellers.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

New Moon (the second book in the Twilight series)

These books frustrated me for the same reason. Which involved the disappearance of a beloved character for a much-too-big chunk of the story.

Yet they are incredibly popular novels and much-loved by readers. Including me. So is frustration a mute point? Should we go for it?

I don’t know….

Frustration has to be one of the most annoying emotions. And I’m not sure annoyance is something we should ever aspire to do to our readers.

Tension. Good.

Frustration. Not so good.

The first brings readers to the edge of their seats. The second makes them want to light the book on fire.

So how do we embrace the first and avoid the second?
 
Avoid drawing things out for an eternity.
Yes, we want to prolong tension. But not to the point of frustration. Sometimes, best practice involves giving the reader what they want, then hooking them with something else. 
 
Keep popular characters in the story.
Don’t make a beloved character disappear for too long. Unless absolutely necessary. But even then, you risk the wrath of your reader. 
 
Sprinkle in moments of gratification.
Sure, maybe you can’t have your hero and heroine get together until the end, but that doesn’t mean you can’t throw in some chemistry-laden tender moments between the two. There needs to be a positive correlation between frustrating moments and gratifying ones. The more frustrating a novel may be, the more gratifying moments we better include.
 
Make the ending uber satisfying.
And I do mean uber. Like ultra uber. Especially, especially, especially if our stories lend themselves to frustration. The more frustrating a novel, the more satisfying the ending better be. Because even if we frustrate our readers, they will forgive us anything in the world if we satisfy the heck out of them at the end. Just like I forgave Stephanie Meyer the minute Bella hurled through the crowded square of Volterra and catapulted herself into Edward’s stone-cold arms.
 
The book I brought up in the beginning? The ending wasn’t as satisfying as it needed to be to soothe my frustrated nerves. So it left a bad taste in my mouth. Despite the good writing and character development.
 
When I think of a team of writers who have figured out this whole tension/frustration dichotomy, my mind automatically jumps to Vampire Diaries. They are experts in magnifying the tension without causing frustration. Which is why I love the show so very much. I even wrote a post about it: Tips from Television.   
 
Let’s Talk: What do you say about frustration? Is it okay to frustrate readers? Is there a book that frustrated the heck out of you, but you still love it to pieces?

*Photo by Ellie Goff

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