How do you Grieve? A Lesson about Anguish

Several months ago, a friend said, “I read the Bible to get to know the author.”

And it was like this huge light bulb went off in my head.

That may be the biggest DUH-epiphany I’ve ever shared on this blog, but stick with me for a moment.

I am a selfish person.

Let’s get that right out there in the open.

I have a tendency to think in terms of me.

Which means I’ve always read the Bible with the mindset of, “How does this apply to me?”

Don’t get me wrong. That question isn’t bad. In fact, it’s a good one to ask.

I just think it was time for me to step back and approach the Bible a little differently.

Since then, every morning when I dig into Scripture, I do so with the mindset of, “What can I learn about God?”

There’s rarely a dull moment.

Especially when I read things like Psalm 88.

Can we take a minute and talk about Psalm 88? Can I encourage you, if you have a Bible handy, to open it up and give that puppy a read?

Cheery, isn’t it?

This is one of the few psalms that offers no expression of hope. The psalmist, most likely a dude called Heman (for all you fellow children of the 80’s, I dare you to tell me that isn’t cool), is in complete, full-throttle anguish.

He’s basically crying out to God, “Why are these bad things happening? Why am I in such agony? Why haven’t you showed up yet?”

Only unlike other anguish-soaked psalms, this one does not end in a revelation of God’s greatness or goodness.

Heman declares, “Darkness is my closest friend.”

And the curtains close. Cue the music. Show is over.

I sat there, curled up on my couch, wondering, “Now how in the world did this get in there?”

What did God want to teach me about Himself from this psalm? Why was it a part of Scripture?

As I sat with those questions, a couple faces came to mind. Dear friends, who as of late, have gone through the ringer of suffering. Friends who are weary and beat-down and could easily ask, “Where are you God? Why is this happening?”

Can you relate, loved one? Do you find yourself feeling like a bag of dry bones?

Then perhaps Psalm 88 can offer some comfort after all.

Because the one clear answer that kept coming to mind from this God who doesn’t always put a stop to the pain was this:

We are allowed to grieve.

We do not have to put on that blasted happy face and tell the world we’re okay when we aren’t.

Friends, we are allowed to grieve.

But as sons and daughters of the Most High, He wants us to grieve with Him, not apart from Him.

Let’s take a page from Martha and Mary’s book.

When their brother, Lazarus, fell ill, they sent word to Jesus to come quick because his friend was dying.

Mary and Martha knew Jesus could heal Lazarus. They knew it with every fiber of their being.

But what did Jesus do?

Did he drop everything and rush to Lazarus’ bedside?

No.

He stayed where he was for two more days.

Can you imagine being Mary and Martha? Waiting with heavy, desperate hearts. Watching the door for the first sign of Jesus as their brother grew sicker and sicker and eventually….died.

These sisters grieved.

But then we read this verse:

When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him.

She didn’t avoid Jesus or refuse to see Him, because forget Him.

As soon as she found out He was coming, she went to Him. And she said, “Lord, if only you had been here….”

Then Mary arrives and she falls at Jesus’ feet and she cries, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

Can you hear it? The desperation?

WHERE WERE YOU, JESUS? WHY WEREN’T YOU HERE?

These sisters were troubled. But they took their troubled hearts to the man they knew as Lord.

And here comes the most beautiful part of the story. The shortest, but perhaps one of the most profound verses in the Bible.

Jesus wept.

What can psalm 88 and this story teach us about God?

He grieves with us.

Even though He knows the entire story, even though He knows the insane, off-the-hook hope in store for those who trust Him, He grieves with us in our moments.

Even though He knew that in two seconds, He would roll that stone aside and breathe life into Lazarus’ dry bones, He wept with these sisters.

And when all hope seemed lost, He shouted, “Lazarus, come out!”

And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes….

And this Jesus who could heal the sick became a Jesus who could raise the dead.

Let’s Talk: Are you hurting with Jesus, or are you hurting away from Him?

If you’d like to read a story about God’s ability to breathe hope and beauty into our broken lives, check out the first three chapters of my debut novel, Wildflowers from Winter.

A New York Times Best-Selling Experiment

I have decided to embark on a reading adventure and I’m bringing all you lovely folk along for the ride.

Here’s what’s going down.

I’m always on the lookout for great reads. Plus, I’d love to unearth the secret all those New York Times bestselling authors must be sharing behind closed doors. Because clearly, once I discover this secret, all the difficulties and challenges in my writing life will shrivel up and die.

Right?

Right.

So with that said, allow me to explain.

Over the next several months, my book selections will be confined to New York Times bestsellers.

Once I choose a book off this coveted list, I will commit to reading the first fifty pages (even if it’s pure torture).

Upon reaching the fiftieth page, I will stop and do two things:

  • Vlog 2 very short reviews based on the first 50 pages
  • Write cliffs notes below each vlog for all you peeps who aren’t into the whole vloggy thing

Review One will be for non-writing readers looking for book recommendations. No writerly jargon allowed.

Review Two will be for writer folk, who like me, wouldn’t mind unearthing the aforementioned secret. In these reviews, writerly jargon is allowed and embraced. I’ll be sharing any valuable lessons I’ve learned during the first 50 pages.

At the end of the post, each book will get a thumbs up, a thumbs sideways, or a thumbs down.

Thumbs up means I can’t wait to keep reading.

Thumbs sideways means I’m going to keep reading, but I’m not in a giant hurry to do so.

Thumbs down means I’m not invested enough to continue.

I’m hoping this adventure will accomplish 5 objectives:

  • expand my reading horizons
  • expose me to some genres I wouldn’t normally gravitate toward
  • train my inner reader to approach books with a learner’s eye
  • share valuable writing tips
  • share great books with great people

How often will I be engaging in this adventure?

I’m not entirely sure. That depends on what’s going down in my life at the moment.

But I have chosen the first book in my adventure!

The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom

It’s ready for pick up from my library as we speak. So join me in the near future as I review the first 50 pages of this NYT bestseller.

Let’s Talk: How do you go about selecting a book to read?

*Photo by JuliaF on stock.exchng

Friday Faves

Chin-Grabbers for Everyone:

  • Confessions Behind the Mask, a new blog by Betsy St. Amant

    In this day and age of social media, it’s all too easy to hide our real selves behind a facade. By picking and choosing what to share, we can basically be whoever we want to be. Which is fine and dandy, until we start looking around at all our Facebook and Twitter friends, wondering how they have it all together while we’re still a raging mess. If you’re tired of feeling alone in your inadequacy and hurt, this is the place to go for encouragement.

  •  The Difficulty of Being a Work-at-Home Momcby Jody Hedlund

    I found this post particularly timely, as I’ve had many epiphanies about this reality as of late. In fact, I’m posting about it on Monday. Working from home definitely has its tricky bits.

Chin-Grabbers for Writers:

  • Five Ways to Build a Thriving Communityiby Jeff Goins

    Are you trying to build a growing, active community on your blog or Facebook page? (Who isn’t?) Here are some must-read tips from Jeff. 

Tell me something fun! What’s been happening in your world this week?