I think it depends on the couple. 🙂 Have a great weekend, Katie!
Maria
February 10, 2012
I have to say found and made. We make of our life what it is by the choices we make. Those choices bring us into contact with people and then we “find” our soul mate although I also think it is possible to find more than one which is why I think made.
I do think there is one “right one” for you, if you’re one of the ones who needs to marry (Jesus himself said there are some who don’t!).
I think you can make most marriages work, but if you choose wrong (ie-don’t listen to God or ask him first, BEFORE marrying), you’re going to have a very rough go of it. Doesn’t mean it’s impossible, or that it surprises God. Once you’re married, you’re locked in. There are always options, but they look like “good,” “better,” and one “BEST.” The best is the one worth waiting for! (And sometimes you may find two bests, if your spouse dies, as was mentioned above in the widow example)
I have a hard time thinking that there is one “soul mate” for everyone. I tend to think there are many people who could be a great match for you if both are willing to put the other first and love like God loves!
Mark S.
February 10, 2012
Disclaimer: Single and should answer as Casey did.
My thoughts: Yes (i.e. both). God “worketh all things after the counsel of His own will” (Eph 1:11), and I believe this extends to one’s mate. I believe God is powerful and sovereign enough to create one for each other and ordain their meeting and union.
That said, I know as a witness to marriages that they grow. Just as justification is done in a moment and sanctification is a process wrought by a holy, patient and persistent Holy Spirit, I believe the union of man and wife takes place then (and persists / perseveres), the intimacy in a marriage grows, deepens, broadens and strengthens over time.
Soul mates are, I believe, created, found and made / developed.
Katie Ganshert
February 10, 2012
Love how you compared this to justification/sanctification Mark. You are so right – we are saved in an instant, by nothing we can do. Yet we are sanctified daily as we learn to walk with and Trust in Him. I love that!
I believe soul mates are created by God. My husband and I were “just friends” back in high school. But when we started dating a year after high school, BINGO! We knew we were meant to be together forever.
I think God creates them, and we find them when the time is right.
Our “book of days was written before one of them came to be.” Yet in my personal experience, I know the difference between “love” and “soul.” I’m surprised how a soul mate creates a glow…a ball of light…right in the center of your being. It’s not just, “He makes me happy or sparkly or giddy” or “She’s gorgeous and funny” – it’s that glow in which everything makes sense, and there is peace in that individual’s presence. In your worst moments, just their being there makes things better. Inherently, there is a connection that enables you to weather any storms.
I don’t think that necessarily means that person is a spouse, but that soul mate is definitely “significant” in your life.
Katie Ganshert
February 10, 2012
I so agree that a soul mate doesn’t have to be a spouse. I sort of think we can have more than one. I feel like my husband is a soul mate. But I also have some girl friends who I really think of as soul mates.
Katie Ganshert
February 10, 2012
I love all these comments! I find myself reading one and thinking, “Yes, I agree with that!” And then reading a different opinion and thinking, “But wait, I agree with that too!”
It’s a fun topic to discuss! Thanks for adding to the conversation everyone!
Wilma Metcalf
February 10, 2012
I’m with you on this Katie, each one I read makes me think “that makes more sense.” But either way it takes work & I was blessed with a wonderful mate for almost 53 years.
I don’t ascribe to the idea of “soul mates.” Why? Because I don’t believe there is just one person out there for each of us whom we just “happen” to meet.
I think we have a great capacity to love, but we choose a single person as our spouse, end our search, and invest ourselves in that relationship exclusively, working to make it the best it can be. I know. Not a very romantic outlook for a romance writer, but I’m being honest.
I witnessed an 80-something widow at my church go through the loss of her husband a few years ago. Today she’s a giddy newlywed deeply in love with her doting groom. She loved her first husband, and she loves her second. Both loves are real and rich.
Good question! I feel like my husband is such a good match for me. And I believe God knew we would end up together and that he led us down the paths we needed to go so we’d be ready to marry each other. I think he definitely worked in our relationship to bring us together.
But there is never someone who fits so well that a relationship won’t take work. I think a common misconception is that once you’ve found your “soulmate,” everything will flow from there. Not true.
I’m with Beth. My husband and I discovered each other at college, but we’ve made ourselves into what we are through the years. 🙂 A great question. I’m interested in reading all the comments!
I have to say made. I go back and forth. I think the idea of a soulmate has been ingrained in our culture. But when I was young – what if I moved or didn’t move. What if I missed my soulmate? I think love is a decision, not a feeling. I think there are several different people we could end up marrying over out lifetime. So much of it is timing and emotional maturity.
That’s not to say that God doesn’t know who are partner will be or know when we’ll meet him. But we do have free will.
True, Laura. I know God has his plan for us but it’s dependent on our choices. I felt my husband and I were “destined” to be together. All of our lives our families lived within 3-5 miles of each other, but we never found each other until one day in the A&P. We’ve been together for 45 years. Did we really find each other or was it God’s plan? I said earlier Katie posed a thought provoking question.
I like to think of soul mates as discovered. My husband and I “discover” why we were brought together by God each and every day, when things are smooth and especially when we ride out the bumps.
i think both too. soul mate seems too focused on “fate,” and i don’t think anything is by fate for a Christian. so there is an element of finding someone, but making it great between you takes work.
Wow, what a thought provoker! Found. I think our soul mate is out there and it’s the choices we make that gets us together sooner or later or possibly never. Great question, Katie!
What say you?
I agree – Yes to both!
Yes and Yes! They are BOTH! 🙂
I think it depends on the couple. 🙂 Have a great weekend, Katie!
I have to say found and made. We make of our life what it is by the choices we make. Those choices bring us into contact with people and then we “find” our soul mate although I also think it is possible to find more than one which is why I think made.
I do think there is one “right one” for you, if you’re one of the ones who needs to marry (Jesus himself said there are some who don’t!).
I think you can make most marriages work, but if you choose wrong (ie-don’t listen to God or ask him first, BEFORE marrying), you’re going to have a very rough go of it. Doesn’t mean it’s impossible, or that it surprises God. Once you’re married, you’re locked in. There are always options, but they look like “good,” “better,” and one “BEST.” The best is the one worth waiting for! (And sometimes you may find two bests, if your spouse dies, as was mentioned above in the widow example)
I have a hard time thinking that there is one “soul mate” for everyone. I tend to think there are many people who could be a great match for you if both are willing to put the other first and love like God loves!
Disclaimer: Single and should answer as Casey did.
My thoughts: Yes (i.e. both). God “worketh all things after the counsel of His own will” (Eph 1:11), and I believe this extends to one’s mate. I believe God is powerful and sovereign enough to create one for each other and ordain their meeting and union.
That said, I know as a witness to marriages that they grow. Just as justification is done in a moment and sanctification is a process wrought by a holy, patient and persistent Holy Spirit, I believe the union of man and wife takes place then (and persists / perseveres), the intimacy in a marriage grows, deepens, broadens and strengthens over time.
Soul mates are, I believe, created, found and made / developed.
Love how you compared this to justification/sanctification Mark. You are so right – we are saved in an instant, by nothing we can do. Yet we are sanctified daily as we learn to walk with and Trust in Him. I love that!
I love reading all the comments!
I’ll come back and answer this question after I actually find one. 😉 Ha! 😀
Found and made, I think!
I believe soul mates are created by God. My husband and I were “just friends” back in high school. But when we started dating a year after high school, BINGO! We knew we were meant to be together forever.
God is such a romantic. 🙂
I think God creates them, and we find them when the time is right.
Our “book of days was written before one of them came to be.” Yet in my personal experience, I know the difference between “love” and “soul.” I’m surprised how a soul mate creates a glow…a ball of light…right in the center of your being. It’s not just, “He makes me happy or sparkly or giddy” or “She’s gorgeous and funny” – it’s that glow in which everything makes sense, and there is peace in that individual’s presence. In your worst moments, just their being there makes things better. Inherently, there is a connection that enables you to weather any storms.
I don’t think that necessarily means that person is a spouse, but that soul mate is definitely “significant” in your life.
I so agree that a soul mate doesn’t have to be a spouse. I sort of think we can have more than one. I feel like my husband is a soul mate. But I also have some girl friends who I really think of as soul mates.
I love all these comments! I find myself reading one and thinking, “Yes, I agree with that!” And then reading a different opinion and thinking, “But wait, I agree with that too!”
It’s a fun topic to discuss! Thanks for adding to the conversation everyone!
I’m with you on this Katie, each one I read makes me think “that makes more sense.” But either way it takes work & I was blessed with a wonderful mate for almost 53 years.
I don’t ascribe to the idea of “soul mates.” Why? Because I don’t believe there is just one person out there for each of us whom we just “happen” to meet.
I think we have a great capacity to love, but we choose a single person as our spouse, end our search, and invest ourselves in that relationship exclusively, working to make it the best it can be. I know. Not a very romantic outlook for a romance writer, but I’m being honest.
I witnessed an 80-something widow at my church go through the loss of her husband a few years ago. Today she’s a giddy newlywed deeply in love with her doting groom. She loved her first husband, and she loves her second. Both loves are real and rich.
Good question! I feel like my husband is such a good match for me. And I believe God knew we would end up together and that he led us down the paths we needed to go so we’d be ready to marry each other. I think he definitely worked in our relationship to bring us together.
But there is never someone who fits so well that a relationship won’t take work. I think a common misconception is that once you’ve found your “soulmate,” everything will flow from there. Not true.
You know, I honestly don’t know on this one. I lean toward made or created or some other word I can’t pin down.
Happy Friday you wild woman!
~ Wendy
I also think it’s both. God brought my husband and I together, but we work ever day to grow together and to protect that bond.
I’m with Beth. My husband and I discovered each other at college, but we’ve made ourselves into what we are through the years. 🙂 A great question. I’m interested in reading all the comments!
I actually think they’re made, through trials and time. I think “finding” a true soul mate is perhaps a beautiful illusion.
I agree with those who have said both. I think they are found initially, but as time goes on we are made more and more into mates for the soul.
I have to say made. I go back and forth. I think the idea of a soulmate has been ingrained in our culture. But when I was young – what if I moved or didn’t move. What if I missed my soulmate? I think love is a decision, not a feeling. I think there are several different people we could end up marrying over out lifetime. So much of it is timing and emotional maturity.
That’s not to say that God doesn’t know who are partner will be or know when we’ll meet him. But we do have free will.
True, Laura. I know God has his plan for us but it’s dependent on our choices. I felt my husband and I were “destined” to be together. All of our lives our families lived within 3-5 miles of each other, but we never found each other until one day in the A&P. We’ve been together for 45 years. Did we really find each other or was it God’s plan? I said earlier Katie posed a thought provoking question.
I like to think of soul mates as discovered. My husband and I “discover” why we were brought together by God each and every day, when things are smooth and especially when we ride out the bumps.
Love this. I agree with Heather. 🙂
i think both too. soul mate seems too focused on “fate,” and i don’t think anything is by fate for a Christian. so there is an element of finding someone, but making it great between you takes work.
First you think you’ve found one . . .and then you realize, years later, “Wow. Look what happened … what was created … between us.”
Yes to both.
Amen! I concur! 🙂
There are a few women friends in my life who I know are God-given “soul mates,” and for that I am grateful every day.
My hubby is the other half of my soul – Soul Mates – found and made, to live and die for.
Wow, what a thought provoker! Found. I think our soul mate is out there and it’s the choices we make that gets us together sooner or later or possibly never. Great question, Katie!