Category: Faith

The Ups and Downs of Adoption: A Love Letter to a Boy Who is No Longer Ours

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

Yesterday, I sat down to write a blog post. I only managed a few lines before someone delivered the kind of news that gives your chest a nice, hearty wallop.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share any of this online, but I’d already announced the good news about our referral early in September. An update would eventually be necessary. Plus, I’m a writer. Which means the best way for me to process anything is…..revelation of all revelations….through writing.

Here are the lines I had written…

We all want to believe that our anguish can turn into joy.

That our tears are never wasted.

That God has a plan.

Not just a plan with an upper-case P, as in the ultimate plan.

But a plan with a lower-case p, as in a personal plan for each of our lives.

Then the phone rang and I answered it and it was our adoption agency with sad news.

Our little two-year old Congolese boy is no longer ours. 

The story is long and heartbreaking and comes with more questions than answers. 

But despite the sadness, I have to believe it wasn’t a coincidence that these were the words I was typing when that phone call came. 

I have to believe it wasn’t a coincidence that I’d just listened to a message about anguish and joy, a la Beth Moore. How the two are opposite sides of the same coin. And if we trust God with our anguish, it has the potential to birth something precious. 

I one hundred percent believe that God has a plan for us in this.

But most especially and more importantly, I have to believe that God has a plan for that little boy. 

When Brogan was in utero, I wrote him love letters. Words that expressed my hopes for his future, my excitement about all the things we would share as mother and son, and how much that little bean was already loved.

Even though this little guy is no longer ours, I feel like he’s no less deserving of a love letter all his own.

So here it is. The hopes I have for his life, wherever it may take him.

Dear Little Man,

I hope that wherever you are, you would have hands to hold you when you’re sick, hug you when you’re scared, and lips to kiss your hurts.

I hope that somebody teaches you about God’s love. 

I hope that you will not grow up with a hardened heart.

I hope that despite being forgotten and neglected and beat down by this messed up world, you will feel God’s presence in your life and know He will never abandon you. I know your story, little one. He can turn the deepest scars and the worst anguish into joy, if you let Him.

I hope that you grow into a man who loves the Lord with all your heart and soul and mind and strength. 

I hope that you discover your voice and use it to stand against injustice.

I hope that you never let fear or doubt or failure keep you from living life to the fullest.

I hope that you will know freedom and you will know joy and despite it all, you will know laughter and love.

                     All of my mine,

                     A woman who would have been honored to be your mother

Alive in Me

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

A man lost his fiancé and found these words written in her journal:

I am not abandoned.

That was the real-life inspiration behind the song, I Am Not Abandoned, one of ten tracks on HBCD Worship’s debut album, Alive in Me.

Maybe it’s the writer in me, who can’t help but turn everything she hears into story fodder.

Or maybe it’s the mom, who knows her youngest son is half a world away in an orphanage with no mommy or daddy to hold him and if I could whisper one tiny truth in his precious little ear, it would be this:

You,  my beloved child, are not abandoned.

The lyrics resonate deep in my soul. All the songs on the album do.

Which is why I wanted to share the awesomeness with you.

You can check out the album by clicking on the links below:

When I asked Austin Tullos, one of the artists of HBCD Worship, to share his heart behind the album with you, here’s what he had to say: 

From the start, our greatest priority has been to make an album that is focused on Jesus, not us. Our purpose in writing and recording these songs is to make much of Jesus, glorify His name, proclaim His Word, and encourage His people.  

On the physical copy, you’ll find that each song in the track listing has a scripture reference listed beside it. This detail, though small, is one that we are really excited about! There are no words more powerful than the words God wrote for us and we crafted each song with this in mind. Embedded into the foundation of writing the lyrics of these songs is our belief that God’s word brings hope, joy, and certainty to a world that is filled with fear, doubt, and uncertainty. 

On a local level, it’s our joy and honor to serve the people of Harvest Bible Chapel Davenport each week as worship leaders. We wrote this album with them in mind and are encouraged each week by their unashamed worship.  

On a larger scale, I hope this album speaks to your heart. I pray there is a song for you on this album. I’m not sure where you are right now. I’m not sure what you’re struggling with. But I do know that we serve a God of joy who is sufficient for all of our needs and it is not in His nature to abandon or forsake His children.  

I hope that these songs spur you on in your journey as an unashamed worshipper of Jesus Christ. I hope they challenge you to continue to strive to make much of Him in everything you do…Because I can promise you these things: He’s good. He’s faithful. He’s trustworthy. And He’s worth it. 

I pray that you are blessed and encouraged by our music. You are loved.  

~Austin Tullos 

“I can’t always see the light from the valley,
Still you shine, you shine. 

I am not, I will never be abandoned.
For my God will never leave my side.” 

~HBCD Worship, I Am Not Abandoned

Let’s Talk: When is a time in your life when you felt fearful, but God reminded you that you were not abandoned?

If you want to know more about HBCD Worship, you can find them on Facebook, Twitter, and their website.  

If you haven’t signed up for a welcome packet yet, I’d love to send you one! You can find the sign-up button at the top of this page.

If you’re looking for a new book to read, you can read the first three chapters of Wildflowers from Winter for free! Just click on the link.

Was Suffering a Part of God’s Plan?

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

There was a boy who not only endured years of sexual abuse at the hand of a family friend, but grew up with a physically-abusive, alcoholic father.

This same boy became a man and went on a mission to disprove the resurrection. 

His name is Josh McDowell and he wrote the very first Christian book I ever read called More Than a Carpenter. Today, he has ministered to many. His latest release, which is titled Undaunted: One Man’s Real-Life Journey from Unspeakable Memories to Unbelievable Grace, will no doubt minister to many more.

Just like when Joseph was sold into slavery, God took the evil inflicted on this kid and brought about something good.

But these bad things that happen? They weren’t a part of God’s plan.

God’s plan was Eden. Perfection. Harmony. A place where pain and suffering didn’t exist. A place free from shame and guilt and jealousy and depression and every other negative emotion that pockmarks the soul.

Obviously, something went awry. All we have to do is flip on the news or open a paper or, heck, live life for a day or two and we get that this world is far from harmonious. 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

It wasn’t God’s will for spouses to cheat. 

It wasn’t God’s will for moms to get cancer.

It wasn’t God’s will for parents to lose children.

It wasn’t God’s will for anyone to get sick or abandoned or abused.

Orphanages were not a part of God’s plan.

Prisons were not a part of God’s plan.

Homeless shelters were not God’s plan.

Hospices were not God’s plan.

None of these things were part of the plan.

But they happen.

Because ever since sin entered the world, we exist in a state of decay. 

The good news?

Jesus came to set us free from sin’s penalty and one day, He’ll return and restore all that is broken. 

Until then……

God can use those broken, messy, shameful, ugly things in our lives.  

He can redeem what is hideous. He can shine light in the darkness. He can renew hope for the hopeless. He can breathe purpose into the seemingly senseless pain we sometimes endure. He can draw us closer to Him than we’ve ever been. He can bring wildflowers from winter.

We just have to let Him.

I don’t love reading these kinds of stories because I’m sadistic and enjoy hearing about people’s pain and hardship. 

I love reading them because they are a tiny glimpse, a glorious preview, of the redemption that is to come.

Let’s Talk: What’s your take on suffering and hardship? Why does it exist? 

If you’re interested in a fictional story that explores this idea of beauty from brokenness, check out the first three chapters of my debut novel, Wildflowers from Winter. I hope this book will renew the hope that is all too easily lost in the midst of hardship. Be blessed, readers!

*Photo by the talented Robert Michie*