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Questions People Ask

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

Ever since announcing our adoption to friends, family, and acquaintances, we’ve fielded lots and lots of questions. Questions I think most adoptive parents face at one point or another. I thought it might be fun to answer them here. 

Why the Congo?

Because the situation is desperate. Heart-breakingly desperate. And as my friend Kristin Reickard likes to say, we can’t unlearn the things we’ve seen and read while we researched our options.

Almost always, this question is asked out of curiosity. But every so often, the tone teeters toward hurtful.  There are people who don’t understand why we would adopt internationally when there are children in the United States without families.

Here’s the thing. When God commands His children to take care of orphans in their distress, I’m pretty sure the command came without borders. We have a heart for Africa. So to Africa we will go. I’m not going to pit domestic adoption against international. Both are needed. Both are good.

How long will the process take?

12-15 months. But with this estimate comes so much unknown. We’re trying to surrender our expectations on this one.

Is it safe to travel there?

There are safer places. It’s an unsettled country. With that said, am I worried for our lives? No. I’m really not.

Will we be adopting a baby?

By the time we bring our child home, he/she will most likely be one and a half to three years of age. The majority of orphans are older children.

Are we going to adopt a boy or a girl?

Although we could specify gender if we wanted, we’re going to opt for a surprise.  

How much will we know about our child’s history?

Not much. This is just the reality for orphans in places like the Congo. They are brought in off the streets or left at orphanages. Not much is known about their histories. Rest assured, we did a lot of research on this and are glad that a very thorough investigation will be done to ensure our child is a legitimate orphan. Sadly, fraud is very real in the adoption world.

How are we going to afford this?

Fundraising, mostly. We sent out support letters and we’re going to do a trivia night/silent auction on June 23rd. We are quickly learning that when God calls us to a task, we should never let finances stop us. He will make a way. 

Are we adopting because we can’t get pregnant?

People ask this question because they don’t know any better. But if you’re reading this, now you do. It’s a question that’s better left unasked for so, so, so many reasons. Reasons I plan to expound upon in a future post.

Here’s my answer:

We’re adopting because there is an unfathomable need and we long to be obedient. We are incredibly excited. We are incredibly blessed. And we pray our child will never ever feel like a second choice.

How will we know our child won’t have AIDS?

The simple answer? We won’t. Even though we’ll have a comfortable degree of confidence, there are no guarantees. But when are there ever? Having a kid is filled with risk. Whether that child comes from my womb or another woman’s. Should God give us a child with AIDS or some other unknown health issue, we’ll trust that He’ll also give us the strength and resources to care for and love that little one.

How will this affect the child we have now?

Hugely.

He’s going to go from being an only child to an older brother. So of course he will be affected. Just like he’d be affected if I were having a biological child.

But besides that….

How will this affect Brogan?

It will open his eyes to a world so much bigger than himself.

It will show him that families are not born of blood, but from love.

It will show him that skin color is arbitrary. His brother or sister will be black.

It will show him that life is about so much more than what is easy and comfortable.

It will show him that when we see an injustice, our heartbreak means nothing without action.

It will show him that when God says to take care of orphans in their distress, He was talking to us.

That is how it will affect Brogan. And I truly cannot wait.

Let’s Talk: Do you have any questions? I’d be happy to answer them. If you were adopting, or if you have adopted, how would you answer these?

In other news, my publisher is running a giveaway through Family Fiction for a chance to win an exclusive, advanced copy of my debut novel. If you don’t want to wait until May to read it, you can click here to enter. It’s easy and quick to sign up!

Knowing When to Finish

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

How do we know when it’s time to ditch a story and when it’s time to rewrite it?

That is the question.

A very important one, I might add. Since it involves months and months of a precious little commodity called time.

After my year-long adventure in tearing apart and restructuring my current WIP, I am convinced that rewriting a novel takes much longer than writing one.

It’s like putting together a very intricate puzzle while pulling from a pile of two puzzle piece sets. And to make it extra complicated, some pieces are missing. So not only do you have to figure out what pieces don’t belong, you have to find the right ones to add.

Oh the insanity!

So how do we know when to put ourselves through that headache and when to simply ditch the story and start on something new?

I will be honest. A big part of my decision had to do with sheer stubbornness. And fear. I was afraid. Because if I didn’t finish this story, who’s to say I wouldn’t be more inclined to not finish others? I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. Despite the agony. Despite the challenge.

But let’s take out the stubborn/fear factor for just a second. Let’s imagine those aren’t the best reasons to stick with a project. 

How can we know when a story is worth finishing? 

When we try to move on, but we can’t seem to let go.

I tried to give up on this story. I really did. But the dang thing wouldn’t leave me alone. It turned into this nagging chant. Instead of “Feed me, Seymour” (hello Little Shop of Horrors), it was: Finish me….finish me….finish me! Despite being a giant pain in my rear, this story had a lot of emotional meat. Which is what I love to write. I couldn’t let it go.

When we tell people the premise and get a positive reaction.

There I was at the ACFW conference. About to toss this story aside. Feeling both liberated and conflicted. When I start talking about the novel to a group of writing friends. Their response was overwhelmingly positive. The interested kind of positive, too. Not the, “Oh, that’s nice. Can we move onto something different now?” Which confirmed what I knew in my gut. The story has potential.

So I decided to stick with it. And when I finished the major restructure, I felt victorious. Incredibly so. Because the endeavor felt like a never-ending upward climb.

Here’s the thing.

There is a very real chance this story will never be published. And this is my sixth novel. Not my first. 

But you know what?

That’s okay. Because the longer I travel this journey, the more I realize that unpublishable words are never wasted words and unpublishable stories are never wasted stories.

I learned a lot through this process. I grew a ton as a writer. 

It was great practice. And very timely. Because soon I’ll be diving into content edits for Wishing on Willows. And I’m pretty sure I’m in store for another major restructure. Only this time I can enter with a semblance of confidence. Knowing, at least, that I’ve done it before.

Let’s Talk: What makes you stick with a novel? What makes you move on? Are you the type that stubbornly refuses to give up on a story when you should let go? Or are you more the type to let go of a story when you should try finishing it? 

*Photo by RetailByRyan95

Age and Romance

Posted on by Katie Ganshert

Boy meets girl.

Boy chases girl.

Boy gets girl. 

Or switch the boy and girl, if you so please.

It’s a common plot for many a romance.

What’s not common is the age of the boy and the girl.

We’ve got Twilight, where the boy and the girl are in high school. (Granted, the boy is actually incredibly old…but let’s put that aside for the moment.)

We’ve got Remember Me, where the boy and the girl are somewhere in their 20s. 

We’ve got my most recent (and wonderful) read, When Sparrows Fall by Meg Moseley, where the boy and the girl are in their 40’s and upper 30’s.

We’ve got Letters to Juliette, where the boy and the girl have gray hair and wrinkled skin.

We’ve got The Notebook, where the boy and the girl go from high school, to young adult, to a nursing home. 

My question to you is….

Do you have a preference? Or does a good romance transcend age?

Let’s Talk: When you read or watch a romance, do you have an age you prefer the hero and heroine to be? If you write romance, do you find yourself gravitating to a certain age?