Sometimes, I get funny reactions when I tell people I write Christian romance. They look at me like I’m nuts. Like the two terms are completely contradictory. Christian romance? Isn’t that some sort of oxymoron?
This reaction makes me sad. Oh so very sad. Because God invented romance. Jesus Christ’s sacrificial love for His Bride is the most romantic tale of all time.
So how did we get here?
To this place where romance novels elicit images of bodice rippers and half-naked Fabios? To this place where Christian and romance don’t fit in the same sentence?
Let’s Talk: What images come to mind when you hear “romance novel”? What’s the best romance novel you’ve ever read? What made it so good? And for the love of all that is holy, are there really women out there who think Fabio is cute?
First, when that big fat picture popped up, I nearly spit my coffee out and thought about butter. Looks like I'm having toast this morning.
Secondly, no lie, the other night I'm sitting at church and this guy sits down with us gals and they're talking about my ms and he butts in, b/c he's known for that.
Anyway, he says, What do you write, like those romance novels with half naked men on them?" And in a tiny moment, I felt dirty and embarrassed, but I recovered and informed him, "No, I write erotica. They're completely naked men." When I kept a straight face and his turned pink, I felt better but…it kind of shows what people think of when you say you write romance novels. And I agree that Romance was created by Male. The whole Bible is romance.
So I'm proud to write it, but I don't want to have to give the whole spiel when I get "the look" How do we overcome that? Put it on a note card and hand it out? Great question, Katie.
Jessica – that is awesome!! I wish I could've been there when you said that. So funny!
Anyway – yeah, I'm not sure how to respond or overcome that. How about we start with here! Redefining what romance is.
Seriously….what is romance?
I love romantic suspenses (and I used to love historic romances) but I don't read them much since my first passion is YA.
When I hear the word 'romance novel', I think of single title contemps or category romances (neither of which I read). I'm more into danger and suspense.
Interesting question, Katie! I'm sort of ashamed to say I get embarrassed to tell people what I write. I always clarify by saying, "But it's not smut. It's…It's clean smut." Or something. :/
Sarah's comment made me laugh. But I agree, I think I'm sometimes reluctant to tell people I write romance. And I don't like that. We shouldn't be embarrassed.
Best romance? I just don't know. I like all kinds of romance.
And, no, I don't think Fabio is cute. Never have. Euwww. (Sorry if that offends anyone.)
Okay, I just read Jessica's comment. Girl, you're not right! Can't believe you did that to that poor unsuspecting guy.
Fa.Bi.O! Fa.Bi.O! Fa.Bi.O!
Happy Friday!
You are turning the tides!
And I sometimes think of the cheesy, overly described kiss.
~ Wendy
I love a good romance novel–esp. YA with romance. If there is no kissing, no sexual tension, I get bored.
When I think of romance, I think of those fluttery feelings, of the hero doing anything and everything for the one he loves- including dying for her–that feeling as if you'll go our of your mind if you don't see him. But, I also think romance is waking up and finding that your husband made a batch of pancake better and put it in the fridge so that is one less step you have to do when the kids wake up. It's making his favorite meal or making sure all the toys are picked up when he gets home from work. Romance isn't always chocolate and flowers. Romance can be found in the little things too.
But, you're right. The best romantic book to read out there is God's word. The whole book. However, if you are looking for what most of the world believes about romance–Song of Songs. There is some pretty good stuff in there…erotic even.
I don't know why romance has such a bad reputation. I think it's the word itself. It just goes along with the fact that I hate labels and categorizing a book into a genre. I know they serve a purpose, yada-yada-yada, but I hate them. Because a label can't possibly define the heart of a story.
I'll be checking back here to see what others say. This is a topic that frustrates me, too.
I'm definitely not a Fabio kind of girl.
When I think of Romance, I think of sacrifice.
I'm afraid Fabio would be used for target practice in my little world. I just about die laughing at the covers of western romances, where the cowboy is half undressed, bucking hay or fixing fence. NO man in his right mind would tackle hay or barbed wire without a long-sleeve shirt, buttoned all the way up!
Romance to me is how people in love treat each other – with respect, trust, looking out for each other's best interest. Removing one of those facets from someone's actions or reactions creates plenty of tension in the relationship. So, you don't have to use all the physical, oooey, goooey angst most secular writers resort to.
I've read a lot of it – Elizabeth Lowell, Sandra Brown, Susan Elizabeth Phillips. They all use explicit love scenes. Even tastefully done, the leave me feeling a little dirty, because they occur before any kind of marriage covenant is in place. So, I am learning to show physical desire as part of the courtship process, without 'going all the way' and without coming off as a preachy prude. Now there's a challenge!
That huge picture of Fabio about made me jump. Yikes! Someone once told me they heard I wrote "those sex book." Sigh! Some people will never get it, and we just have to be okay with that.
EWWWW! That picture!!! EWWWW!!!
LOL He's so nasty.
Favorite romance novel…Sweet Are The Ways by Essie Summers. It's just about perfect.
I'm loving all these comments!
Erica, he's got smoldering eyes just for you, baby!
Patti – I love your definition of romance. That's really beautiful.
So now the question becomes…what's the best way to respond when we tell people we write romance and they assume we're writing R-rated stuff?
Another stereotype I think romance has is that it's fluffy. That there's not a whole lot of depth to it. Do you think that's true? Is there a way to combat that stereotype?
Yeaaah, Fabio has too wide of a jaw. He'd make a good character in a novel with elves or something though–the chiseled look. ;o)
Yep, "romance" gives a connotation of either smut or formulaic plots (the shallow and predictable kind of writing/books). Hard to break out of that stereotype. But we NEED more books that do, that show romance is more than lust, and that a solid story and great characters can be developed in the genre!